Chasing Shadows of Angels
by Everon Prime
Summary: Half truths and lies, torn loyalties and an unknown past. When all you truly have to cling to is your dwindling sanity, is it any wonder that even the purest of angels could fall?
1. Shattered

**I am finally posting my story's sequel! To those of you who haven't read my first story, **_**Of Hope and Destruction**_**, don't worry. I'm pretty sure that you can still follow along with this just fine. This story is going to be more my work with the occasional reference to the series. I plan to edit and fix my original over Christmas break, so you could just follow along with this one, and I will announce when the corrections are done.**

**Also, I intend to start each chapter with song quotes, so if you haven't heard the song, please look it up! It is normally how I set the tone for a chapter. This chapter, however, will have no song quote.**

**Finally, a special thanks to _Poet of Mercury_ for proofing this chapter and the next!**

**Anyway, onto the story!**

* * *

_Shattered_

_Shattered remnants left behind,  
Shattered remnants of my mind.  
Falling beyond the angel's grasp,  
Not caring how long I last.  
Darkness slowly ebbing in,  
Unbeknownst to my forgotten kin.  
Lost and feeling left behind,  
Lost within my shattered mind._

In death there are always variables. Many people claim to know what to expect. On Earth, most believe in heaven and hell, eternal salvation or eternal damnation. On Cybertron, you have similar equivalents called either joining the Allspark or going to the Pit, respective versions of heaven and hell.

Where I currently am, I'm not quite sure. In all the stories from both of my families, both of my fathers, neither had told me anything that quite compared to this. I had visited this place once before, and I had met her. The shadowy angel. At first, I thought I was dead. That she was meant to lead me to the Allspark. Then she told me it wasn't my time, that I still had work to do in my world.

I didn't think I would come back here so soon.

If I had to put a name to here, I would call it the Nothingness. It's the best description of this place. There is literally _nothing_ here. Just white, the absence of color, and occasionally an undeterminable ground appears, though the ground is hard to keep track of. Occasionally, it happens to disappear on us.

Well, I'm not completely alone. I look to the mech sitting next to me. He looked… tired. Considering that he waited all these months in the Nothingness for me, I can understand why. But he had said it wasn't my time, that I wasn't meant to be dead yet. I think that's adding to why he looks tired.

"You don't have to take it," he says. "You don't have to take her deal."

Looking at the red mech, I can't help but vaguely think of how much I love the strong crimson shade of his paint job and the ostentatious horns upon his head. Primus, I think of how much I love _him_. "I can bring you back. I can finally atone for your death."

"Ev, that wasn't your fault. You couldn't do anything—"

"And now I can! I have to do this Cliff. I have to try."

"But at what cost?" I'm at a loss of what to say. Her offer… I could give back Cliffjumper's life. But the cost… She could take anything from me. My sight, my voice… And I won't know. Not until I'm reborn. For all I know, I could lose a body part! But I could revive him if I take the deal. But she warned me… I was destined to endure. Endure pain, heartache, and loss…

And she said I would be fighting for my sanity the entire time.

I look at Cliffjumper. Primus, why did it take me so long to see it? The spark fracture wasn't because he was like a brother to me. I'm in love with him. Just like I'm in love Wheeljack. I need them both, and one had been left behind while this one remains in this realm, waiting for me to guide me to the Allspark.

He had said it wasn't my time. Maybe it isn't.

"I'm sorry, Cliff. When she comes back, when she starts the ceremony with my body in our world, I'm going to go with her, and I swear on my spark, I _will_ bring you back."

He sighs, his shoulders slumping down. Then, he chuckles lightly. "Primus, you always were a stubborn one." Looking at me with one of his signature grins, he adds, "At least I'm going to be able to take you driving soon. I miss those drives. Remember the time when you and I went on that three day road trip and didn't tell the others?"

I snort. "You mean when you kidnapped me after school one day because you didn't want to go back to base since you had broken one of Ratchet's tools? You do realize that plan would have been _way_ more successful if you hadn't of taken me with you, right?"

"Like I'd want to go anywhere without you." He got a thoughtful look on his face. "Prime sure was pissed when we finally came back to base, though."

Laughing, I sarcastically ask, "Ya think? I missed two days of school because of you."

He smirks. "How _has_ school begin going? You know, before all, well all this."

My smile fades. "I haven't been in a week or two… injuries. Everyone believes I'm out for being in a car crash." I sigh. "I wonder if they announced me dead yet."

With a sympathetic look, he asks, "Well, what about before the injuries?"

Shyly, I add, "That bike I had been working on, the solar powered one I rebuilt: I finished it and entered it in the science fair and got first place."

His grin grows back onto his face. "Ha! That makes up for all the times searching those numerous junk yards for parts." He scoops me up into his hand, then lays flat on his back, sits me on his chassis, and props himself up with his elbows. "And Vince? He wasn't still bugging you at school, was he?"

With a bit of bitterness to my tone, I say, "He's still breathing, isn't he?"

His jaw clenched. "I should have run the fragger off the road."

My eyes roll as I respond, "I would have yelled at you like I did with Knockout."

"Wait, what about Knockout?"

I guiltily look away. "I… may have went racing with Knockout. Didn't go so well because we got into a fight and then some idiot who had been hitting on me earlier scratched his paint right before the race. He was… not very happy by that point. The man ended up getting run off a cliff."

"Yeah, that sounds like Knockout. What were you two fighting about?" I refuse to meet his eyes. "Ev, what's wrong?"

"He… was upset. About my necklace."

"Okay, now I'm confused."

I sigh. "I… was wearing an Airrant and refused to tell him who it was from."

He was silent for a minute, but then after releasing a long sigh, he said, "So 'Cee gave you the present, huh?"

I nod. "She did but… my birthday was long after this. Actually, my birthday was the night before I died…"

His eyes widened, and then turned sad. "Someone… Someone else gave you an Airrant? Who?"

An Airrant. In English, it means an After Stone. Airrants are like a prequel to spark bonding. The shards are found attached to Cybertronian sparks, and when a Cybertronian finds someone that they love, they offer them the stone. If the person accepts it, a bond is created from the receiver to the giver, and the giver can now sense the other, sense their emotions, their sparkbeat, their pain... so long as the receiver is wearing the stone.

Fortunately, I wasn't wearing my stone when I died…

"He… His name is Wheeljack. A Wrecker. Joined the team soon after… Well, soon after everything went to the Pit." I look to Cliffjumper and his sad eyes. "Cliff… I love him. Primus, I love him so much, but… I love you, too. Not as a brother like I had led myself to believe, but more deeply then I ever could have imagined. When I found your Airrant in that box… I realized how much I love you. And Primus, it hurt!"

I throw my gaze down to my hands in my lap, unsure of what else to say. I felt his large finger suddenly begin to stroke my head. I look over to him and see that he has a happy, faraway look in in his eyes and a soft smile on his face. "I love you too, Everon."

A sound of disgust comes off from the side of us in the Nothingness. I look to see the shadowy figure, a Cybertronian with glowing violet eyes. "How… touching. So have you considered my deal? I have some _very_ impatient friends of yours waiting on the other side who aren't very happy with me for… disturbing your body."

I look to Cliff's face as he shifts to his feet while cradling me in his servos. I can tell how he feels about this. Looking at the shadowy figure, I say, "Swear to me, swear on your very spark, that you will abide by the contract we discussed earlier. Some sacrifice from me in the living world in exchange for ensuring Cliff's revival."

She rolled her optics but laughed wickedly all the same. "Smart little girl, aren't you? Fine. I swear upon my very spark that I will uphold my end of the bargain." She looks to Cliff. "Just make sure you don't cross over in the next week or two."

He nods, and then his gaze turns down to me. "Are you sure about this? Imagine what you could be losing and the pain you might endure in the living world. I would gladly join the Allspark with you should you not want to return."

Without hesitation, I respond, "I love you too much not to try." He gives me a soft smile, and then nuzzles me close to his face, a gesture I recognized in Wheeljack. I kiss him lightly on the cheek, and then he sets me on the ground.

Striding to the figure, the closer I drew, the more her shape became defined, until I finally recognize her. "You."

"Yes, me. Took you long enough to recognize who I was." Before I could respond, she scoops me into a tight grasp. A sinister look came to her eyes. "Now… this might be a bit… uncomfortable."

I guess she forgot the word excruciating.

* * *

I woke to voices. They seemed disjointed, mixed in my mind. I couldn't quite tell what they were saying at first. Then, the haziness drifted away, and I gained clarity.

"How much longer?"

"Patience, Knockout. This work takes time. Coaxing a soul into a damaged body isn't exactly easy—"

"_You_ were the one to rip her open—"

"I needed access to her spark! And her body already needed healing, in case you didn't notice the crude human bullet hole through her chest—"

"Will you both shut up!" a third voice interjected. "She does _not_ need to be woken up to the sounds of you two yelling at each other." A pause. "Primus, she's breathing again… Never thought I would miss seeing that human trait of hers."

The one previously identified as Knockout spoke again. "Are you sure it was wise to inject her with Energon… it doesn't bode well with human systems."

"In case you haven't noticed," this voice was the only female in the group and the one who had been arguing with Knockout, "I _do_ know what I'm doing. She _is_ breathing again." Knockout mumbled something under his breath about 'Primus forsaken evil spider femmes.' "Breakdown, stop hovering. I doubt she wants you're ugly mug to be the first thing she sees when she wakes up—"

"Hey! She loves her big bro, Breakdown!" Still, I hear a heavy step backwards, which I assume is the Breakdown character moving back. "When is she going to wake—"

I gasp in pain. Rolling on my side, I begin to shake and hyperventilate. "Slag it," the one named Knockout yells. "What's going on? Is she dying?"

The femme seems startled. "I… I don't know. Shiaron said nothing of this… she wouldn't allow me to create life only to take it so soon…"

Pain pulled across my skin as I felt what seemed to be some sort of… metal begin to seep over my skin through my pores. "By the Allspark…" Knockout said in a whisper. The metal continued to coat my skin as I felt my body grow and expand in size. The areas with metal already coating it began to have what felt like metal sheets slip through unseen slits in my skin, covering me like…armor. Every part of me ached, unfamiliar with this transition.

Then, the true agony started.

My shoulder blades felt like they were on fire. I could feel something pulling, expanding from my back. I had no idea what was going on. I was terrified. But I couldn't scream. I couldn't seem to bring myself to scream. Strange, animalistic gasps were the closest I came to making a sound.

That and the mixing sound of scraping metal and splitting skin.

Then, as suddenly as it had started, the pain stopped. My eyes were still closed, but now I had them clenched tightly shut. I heard someone step hesitantly forward. "Shadow?... Shadow, are you al—"

My eyes flew open when I felt a hand on my shoulder. My gaze was met with a large… Cybertronian I think is what they were. Blue armor, orange faceplates, glowing yellow optics. Next to him was a red armored Cybertronian, this one looking more ostentatious and with whitish faceplates and red on black optics. Each of the two looked worried concerned.

The last of the three was the femme. Armor as black as night, purple and gold details along her form along with long and thin appendages sprouting from her back, and glowing violet optics that seemed so… familiar. Whereas the others seemed worried, she seemed… intrigued.

"Shadow?" My gaze shifted to the red one. His voice belonged to the one named Knockout. "I know this might be a bit… disorientating, but it's alright little sister, we won't let anything else happen to you."

I don't know them. I don't know this place, this dark and dreary room. I don't know _anything_. All I know in this moment is my instinct and what it was telling me to do. And it was telling me to attack.

So I did.

* * *

**Alright, this chapter is way shorter then my normal chapters, but I didn't really want to add much more then this. So, likes and dislikes? I love to hear honest opinions for this story because it's going to be more my work then the series, but it will have aspects from the series in it.**

**Also, the poem in the beginning is mine.**

**Review please!**


	2. I am Silence

**Now, this chapter is going to be closer to the normal length of my chapters. I really liked writing this one.**

* * *

_(It starts with one)_

"_One thing I don't know why,  
__It doesn't even matter how hard you try.  
__Keep that in mind, I designed this rhyme to explain in due time,_

_(All I know)_

"_Time is a valuable thing, watch it fly by as the pendulum swings.  
__Watch it count down to the end of the day.  
__The clock ticks life away._

_(It's so unreal)_

"_Didn't look out below,  
__Watch the time go right out the window.  
__Trying to hold on but didn't even know,  
__I wasted it all just to watch you go._

"_I kept everything inside and even though I tried, it all fell apart  
__What it meant to be will eventually be a memory of a time when..._

"_I tried so hard, and got so far  
__But in the end, it doesn't even matter  
__I had to fall to lose it all  
__But in the end, it doesn't even matter."_

_Linkin Park, "In the End"_

* * *

I am silence. I am just a quiet observer, aware of everything in my surroundings, yet never one to make my presence known. When my presence is known, I know the sense of intimidation I instill in others. Not fear, such as with our Lord Megatron's presence, merely intimidation. They know of my capabilities, that I am… aware. Aware of most everything. And without even considering my accomplishments in battle, that alone is enough to set the inhabitants of the Nemesis on edge.

Except for her.

My servos hover over the keys of the computer station. Never have I faltered in my work. Ever the loyal servant, I am diligent in my tasks. I was not built for attachments, for fondness. Yet, somehow I found myself yet again analyzing my fondness for the girl, my master's daughter.

Our late heir, Shadow Tronus.

Considering, she was as of late going by her name given by the Autobot leader. Everon Prime. Mentally, I scoff at the name. It did no justice to wild and joyous child I had known. Shadow echoed the child's mischievous and cunning nature, and Tronus gave her the air of power and command, something she seemed to carry with her wherever she went.

She had been the perfect princess. Caring and levelheaded in important matters, she inspired those to crave her presence and showed the signs of blossoming into a true ruler. Though highly unlikely, given her human form and timespan, those who knew her held out for a solution, one to prolong her lifespan and make her like us. While she lived with us, from the human age of seven to twelve, the ship had a lighter, happier atmosphere. Our fading cause had gained a renewed strength, a renewed vigor.

I guess the Prime _had _aptly named her. Everon meant hope.

Now, that hope was dead.

To think, it had been a mere day since she called. She called _us_. Not the Autobots, but _us_. She had said it was because the Autobots had less qualified equipment for tracking her. I will admit, hacking and locating the open line on her phone had been very difficult. The skill she had shown in how well her phone was secured was impressive, and the phone showed signs of the coding I had taught her as a child.

Primus, when it came to that girl, I lost my very nature. Gone is emotionless Decepticon, the uncaring Third in Command. In its place was the beginnings of a true Cybertronian, one who valued the company of the innocent and curious little half-breed girl with large silver eyes.

Primus, she didn't deserve it.

The girl was pure: pure in intentions, pure in thoughts, pure in spark. War weighed heavily on the child's shoulders. We hid it from her, sheltered her not quite in the same overbearing way as the Autobots, but enough to preserve the innocent look in her eyes for as long as possible.

Cracking her code had taken too long, and just as the coordinates pinged over the station, we heard the sound over the open phone line she had left for us.

_BANG!_

I can honestly say I have never been as numb as I was in that moment. Nothing registered in my processors for the few moments after that shot except for one thought: our little princess was dead. Gone was the little girl who would innocently sit with me and ask an unending supply of questions. Gone was the child who loved to distract me in order to listen to music on the internet, then give her father what she called 'puppy dog eyes' to get me out of trouble for not finishing my work. Gone was our caring and compassionate princess.

Gone was my one friend.

I clenched my servos into fists. Nothing was going to get done today. Everyone was in mourning. And I swear, if Starscream tried to pester us to get back to work one more time, chain of command be slagged, I will throw him through a wall.

It's around this point that Laserbeak sends me a blip of information. A particular door had been opened. Normally, this information is utterly menial and unimportant, but this time, the door went to a specific room, one that no one should be in right now.

It was the chamber where we were storing Shadow's body.

Kryostasis. As soon as we had returned, meaning Breakdown, Knockout, and I, Knockout had placed her broken and limp body into the kryostasis pod. Unlike Cybertronians, human bodies decay quickly, whereas Cybertronians merely rust after eons of sitting. The kryostasis pod had been the only way to keep her body for when Megatron awakened, so then she could have a proper funeral with her father's presence.

We never contacted the Autobots, and we have no intentions of letting them near her for the final funeral pyre. Family be slagged, they should have prevented this. They should have been watching her, should have known she was in trouble. Normally, a Cybertronian is given a sendoff by means of blessings from loved ones and then their body being placed in a tomb or a smelting pit based on how damaged the body is. After what she went through and the damage to her body, it looks as if we will have to perform the latter.

But back to the mater at hand. Someone had entered the room without clearance. My security feeds still showed the other senior officers at their stations, Knockout and Breakdown morning the loss of their little sister in the med lab, and Starscream throwing a fit somewhere over the insubordination of the senior officers during the attempt to rescue Shadow. The intrusion was probably just a stray Vehicon, or maybe even a few Vehicons, heading in to pay their respects to their beloved princess. They all were quite fond of her…

That's when my sensors showed that someone had opened her stasis pod.

I became angry. Livid even. They jeopardized the preservation of her already damaged body by opening that pod. Beloved princess or not, that would _never_ be tolerated. Fury led me to open a bridge, startling the dazed and depressed Vehicons who milled about the communications deck. Storming through the portal, my aim was to throw aside the offenders and close the pod post haste, but the sight before me made want to purge.

The Cybertronian standing over my dead friend's body was a familiar ex-Con, one whom I had known in passing but better by reputation. Designation: Airachnid. Skill Set: Information gathering by means of infiltration and or torture. Side Note: Born of a sub-set caste of Cybertronians known as Aurials, femme Cybertronians with special additions to their bipedal forms that resembled ancient Predacons which modern day Cybertronians descended from. Hers is eight pairs of long, spindly legs extending from the back of her torso, similar to the Earth creature known as a spider. Shadow had once captured one in a jar. She put it with her collection of other insects that she had caught onboard the Nemesis.

She cried when the spider ate her moth…

The Decepticon in question was now performing an unspeakable horror: her talon buried deep in Shadow's corpse, had been drawn up her ribcage, now exposing her dull and lifeless spark, while thick clumps of violet blood could be seen all over and around her body. When Airachnid looked up, her face was startled. "Well, this is awkward…"

I am silence. I am just a quiet observer, aware of everything in my surroundings, yet never one to make my presence known. But in that moment, my entire being changed, and I felt a white hot rage come forth that could have scared Megatron. "NO!" My voice. It was twisted and feral, loud and fear inspiring. Very few have heard it. Since the war, there is only one being who has made me wish to use my voice, only one being that made me speak.

And now Airachnid had gutted her like a worthless piece of meat.

As I yell, fear spreads across her face, her expression showing a rare tint of true terror. I rush forward, and soon I have her pinned to the wall by her neck. "Please, Soundwave! Listen to me!" I tighten my grip, and she continues to sputter her explanation. "I know what this looks like, but I have a good reason!" Tighter. "I—You have heard of my—" She gasps, clawing at my hands. "—my kind's practices!" _Tighter_. "I can bring her_ back_!"

My grip drops completely, and I stagger backwards as she drops to the ground, panting, her spindly legs drooping to the side. My processor was spinning. _Bring her back?_ Is that even possible? It defied all normal science, but Aurials weren't exactly known for science…

I unfolded my blaster and contacted Knockout via the comm-link, telling him to get here. I even sent him a ground bridge. As the portal opened, Airachnid's heavy breathing was beginning to subside. She didn't rise from the floor, but she did turn her gaze upwards towards me while absently rubbing her throat with her servos.

As Knockout emerged from the portal, Breakdown following suit, he begins to snap, "Now, _what_ exactly is the… problem…" His gaze turned from where I had Airachnid held at gunpoint while she kneeled on the ground to the open pod with Shadow's mangled body. "_What happened?!_"

I turned to glare at the Aurial. She in turn had the decency to look slightly abashed. "Sorry, I should have asked, but I am working on a bit of a time crunch."

"A time crunch?" Knockout snarled, turning away from Shadow. Breakdown was in shock, hovering around the body of his sister, not quite knowing what to do. "What in your processor could have possibly led you to want to sneak on board the ship merely to split open my dead sister's body?!"

Her gaze turns harsh, and she states as if it was the most obvious answer. "Shiaron."

Knockout scoffs. "So your Aurilian pagan deity just up and decided, 'You know what? I'm bored. I'm just going to tell my servant, Airachnid, to go butcher the body of Megatron's dead daughter!'"

Airachnid jumped to her feet, obviously offended. "Mock Shiaron all you want, but keep in mind, how did I know that she was dead? Where her body was located? How about the location of the Nemesis? And don't even get me started on getting _on_ the ship—"

"Why?" Breakdown's voice was so sad and confused. Most of us were coping through bouts of anger, but Breakdown…

Airachnid decided to cut to the chase. "I can bring her back. I'm sure you've heard the stories: some Aurilians are given the ability to guide one lost soul from the void between this world and the Allspark. Shiaron brought me into the void to speak with her, and now I must hurry and bring her back before she changes her mind and crosses to the Allspark."

"Why should we believe you?" Knockout sneers.

"Because, what if I'm telling the truth?" Silence filled the room, as we all let the weight of her words and the situation settle.

* * *

"Soundwave, have you finished those reports yet?" Primus, Starscream's voice had never grated on me as much as it did right now. I turned to look at him and shake my helm no, holding back fulfilling my earlier threat of throwing him through a wall. I was supposed to be distracting him, preventing him from knowing what was going on.

The spider needed time to work.

What had led us to trusting her? The chances of her actually bringing our girl back were slim to none, but the damage to Shadow's corpse had already been done: she would have had to have been cremated near immediately anyway due to the extra damage Airachnid had inflicted.

So why not let her try?

Her lying seemed highly improbable at this point. It would lead to the situation growing even worse should she have been lying about bringing Shadow back. I just wish that they would hurry…

In that moment, a ping came over the comm link. Knockout. _"Get in here, now! We require… assistance! No blasters, no troopers, though, and remain calm!"_ A pause. _"And no ground bridge into the room!"_

His message puzzled me, but I obeyed. Ignoring Starscream's pestering questions, I opened a ground bridge to just outside the room, and then shut it before he could follow. Staring at the room's doors, I hesitate, afraid of what I might find in there. Then, I stride into the room, and I am met with a sight I never expected.

Airachnid is sitting against the far wall, exhaustion playing her features. She watches intently though as Knockout is flailing his arms through the air, yelling at Breakdown to be careful who in turn snaps back, "Don't ya think I know that?" The most interesting part of the scene was with Breakdown. He was currently next to the pod, holding down a flailing and startled Cybertronian femme with silver, unpainted armor.

A femme with long, silvery black wings.

The femme was clearly terrified. She struggled against his hold, snarling and making sounds of protest against him. Judging from the scratch marks on both Knockout and mostly Breakdown, the femme had been startled and lashed out, so Breakdown was doing a poor job of restraining her.

"Let… me… go!" she snarls, just as her gaze shifts up to me, and I can't help back stagger back slightly.

Her eyes. Primus, I knew those eyes. Those silvery pools that stared back at me, they were the same as my little girl's, my dear departed friend. The only difference is that they were now Cybertronian optics, the large, round shutter optic kind that enhanced her air of innocence. I watched as they go from fierce anger to slightly startled and curious as she watched me. Her struggling stopped, and she cocked her head to the side in an inquisitive manner.

I was so overcome with shock, that I didn't realize what was happening until the word had already slipped from my mouth. "Shadow…" The other Decepticons in the room were shocked by my voice. So shocked, that Breakdown's grip loosened slightly.

But that was all Shadow needed.

Slipping upwards in his grasp and pushing off from his arms, she stumbled across the floor, sprinting like a startled sparkling who had yet to learn how to run. Her wings flicked and fluttered a bit, but I was sure she just wasn't sure what to do with them yet. Upon reaching me, she darted behind my frame, putting her hands—servos— on one of my hip plates as she leaned her head out to watch the others.

For a few beats, we were all silent, and I took this time to examine the scared little femme who glanced curiously out from behind me. She was of a small frame, maybe a few inches shorter then the Autobots' femme Arcee. Her ever so innocent eyes were most certainly the most striking feature of her face, but she had a face that any Cybertronian would envy, with smooth, whitish-silver protoform skin that was sign of true beauty on our planet. That mixed with well-proportioned form, and she would have had to deal with Megatron fighting off endless suitors.

Her armor, a brilliant gunmetal silver, showed obvious signs of being new, that of a young Cybertronian, but she looked like a femme just crossing the border into maturity. The armor was light, not meant for heavy field fighting, but perfectly suited for fast-moving, up-close fighting. Still, the armor had hints of intimidating qualities to it, such as the forearm plates continuing up on her outer shoulder into long spikes. Similar spikes were formed on her elbows and knees, and her armor was a mix of both smooth and angular plating.

Surrounding her face was what looked like a frame of some sorts, much like what surrounded Lord Megatron's face but not as harsh. It suited her, like a crown. Her head though had a rounded shape to it, such as the Autobot Arcee's, but the smooth yet angular plating of her armor continued here. Though the armor wrapped about her neck, her back though was surprisingly completely bare except for a portion of the front covering plates wrapping around her back in a halter style. This left the tender protoform of her back exposed, but with the wings extending from her shoulder blades, I don't think there was much of a choice.

Her wings. The long, silvery black wings. They had what humans call feathers decorating the length of them. The feathers glinted in the low light of the room, and they would seem to almost shimmer as her wings would subconsciously shift or readjust themselves. The only thing that seemed off was tattoo looking design on her back, one that looked like a gothic spider… Even with that, the girl before me was stunning, and seeing this form, I knew why Airachnid's god would want her to breathe life back into the girl. It was because of this form, the form smothered by her human body.

Shadow was an Aurilian.

She seemed to grow suddenly restless with the void of silence we had created. Finding her voice, she asks me in a both strong and hesitant way, "Who are you?"

My spark froze, shock causing my entire form to tense. Sensing my distress, a puzzled look crosses her face and she turns her gaze to the others. "Who are you?" she repeats to them. "Where am I? Who am I?"

We all stare in shock at the poor femme who gazed out from behind me. Airachnid, however, merely harrumphed. "Well, she lost her memory. I guess that's not too bad."

Knockout spins and glares at her. "What makes you think that losing her memories, not knowing _who_ we are or _who_ she is, is okay?!"

Airachnid deadpanned, "It's better then her being recreated missing a limb." Knockout and Breakdown's jaws dropped as Airachnid pursed her lips. "Or two."

"_What_?!"

She rolled her optics. "This isn't an _exact_ thing." She stood from the ground with a bit of difficulty. "Only _some_ Aurials have the ability to guide back the dead from the void, and those who do can only do it _once_ due to the stress it causes our sparks. I guess I know why Shiaron wanted her back, seeing as how she is like us. At least she didn't lose her voice. Winged Aurilians are known for their voices..." She turned her gaze towards Shadow, who in turn pulled her face back behind me, but slowly poked her eyes back out. "Such a timid girl…"

"Considering how confused she must be," Knockout sneered to the spider, "it's understandable."

Breakdown looks at Shadow, who darts her optics nervously to him. "Hey, Little Bit," he says softly, adding a warm smile. "It's Breakdown. I guess you could say I'm like your big brother."

Her brows scrunch together. "Your voices… I recognize them."

Knockout looks intrigued. "You can recognize our voices? That would explain why you suddenly clung to Soundwave when he spoke…" he mused.

Her voice was hesitant, but she did come out from behind me slightly, though she did still cling to my side. "I… I trust you, all of you." She looks to Airachnid. "You unsettle me."

The spider shrugs. "Fair enough."

Shadow then looks up to me, a slight smirk growing on her face. "You don't speak much."

Knockout scoffs, and Breakdown chuckles and responds. "Up until today, we weren't sure if he _could_ speak."

"But I recognized his voice." She looks to me. "We were good friends, weren't we?" I nod. She grins. "Awesome."

"Ahem." We turn to the voice and see Knockout giving his normal, almost feral smirk, the one Shadow had picked up on over the years. "If you are settled enough, Shadow, I would like to run a scan back at the med lab." He sent a glare to Airachnid who seemed unfazed. "I don't want anymore surprises."

* * *

"Do I have to?"

"I have to run a proper scan, Shadow, and quite frankly, you need rest."

"I feel _fine_." Shadow was currently standing face to face with Knockout, each with their arms crossed and a stubborn glare. She was shorter than the already short mech, not outrageously short by any standards, but she also had an air of command about her. Her stance, her movements, she was born to command. She had Megatron's intimidating nature, but Optimus' patient reserve.

The combination is enough to make any normal mech stand down.

Unfortunately, Knockout was not a normal mech, especially when it came to her and medical situations. "Now I know how this might be unsettling—"

"You want to put me into a coma!"

"—induced stasis! And it's necessary to perform all the proper system checks!"

"You already scanned me—"

"That is only is a basic scan—"

"What else do you need—"

"You died, Shadow!" Knockout snapped. "You were _dead_ less than a few hours ago. Also, you aren't human anymore! So, forgive me if I want to make sure that there are not any complications. I'd rather not have you die _twice_ because I didn't prevent it!"

Her eyes widened in shock, and before anyone can process what was happening, Shadow had darted forward and grasped Knockout into a tight hug. "_Don't_. Don't blame yourself. I may not be able to remember what happened, but I know one thing." She pulled back and gave him a sad smile. "I would _never_ blame you. So don't blame yourself."

Knockout looked shocked, but then he matched her sad smile. "Sorry. I just… I won't ever let anything happen to you, Shadow. Trust me."

She nods, and then moves over to the medical berth. Once there, she hesitates, staring at the bed. "You all will still be here when I wake up, right?"

Airachnid, who had been standing off to the side, aloofly responds, "I might not."

"Like anyone gives a frag if you're still here," Knockout mumbles.

Breakdown smiles to the winged femme. "Of course we will still be here. Unless Soundwave has to go distract Starscream—"

Just then, the doors to the med lab open, and in strides the aforementioned Decepticon. "Now where did everyone… go… What is going on in here?! Is that Airachnid?!" He shrilly screams. Then, with a shrill snarl, he asks while pointing at Shadow, "And _who_ is _that_?"

Shadow frowns. "I don't like her." Breakdown burst out laughing, while Airachnid smirked and Knockout snickered. Starscream's jaw dropped, and when he looked at me sputtering, I simply pulled up a smiley face on my visor. Shadow looked confused. "Did I say something wrong?..."

Starscream finally found his voice and indignantly cried, "I am _not_ a her!" He strode towards the young femme, who crossed her arms in front of her chest and glared at the angry seeker.

"With that figure? Hard to believe you're _not_ a her. The least you could do is get rid of the heels," Shadow replied with an air of mocking as she slowly and languidly began to circle him. Though her voice and movements were cool and relaxed, her optics said otherwise, keeping a steely glint.

As she finally turned away from him, leaving him standing between her and the medical berth, he cried out, "Do you know who I am?!" Her body went stiff, and her optics grew an even more dangerous edge.

This was not going to end well.

Suddenly she spun, hitting the seeker upside his helm with her spiked elbow, and while he was dazed, she grabbed him by the neck and slammed his face into the medical birth. Leaning in close, she dangerously spoke in a half whispered and venomous voice. "I may not know who you are, but I _know_ your kind. And know this: I'm _not_ impressed, nor intimidated by you. And I _never_ will be."

Her optics seemed a bit manic, and I worried about what she might do. Knockout and Breakdown could not seem to think of any response to the situation, and Airachnid merely grinned. Heir or not, Shadow could face serious judgment should she permanently damage or kill Starscream. And not to mention, she wasn't in a stable state of mind: sure she bickered with him, but she would never consciously wish to hurt him. Not like this. She is too soft of a soul for that.

I step forward, and lightly grab her wrist, the one holding onto Starscream's neck. Her head jerks upward from where she had been intently glaring at the shaking mech, and suddenly her optics grow wide as she looks between me and my servos. Jumping back, her optics look increasingly guilty, and she darts over between Breakdown and Knockout to watch Starscream from a distance. Breakdown wrapped an encouraging arm around her waist—her wings prevented him from properly grasping her shoulders— and gave her a half hug of support, which she returned with a grateful smile.

Starscream had finally found his voice after rubbing his sore neck. "You… I… I nearly had my neck snapped!"

"Get in line," Airachnid snapped while subconsciously rubbing the back of her neck.

"Who is she?!"

Knockout rolled his optics at Starscream's dramatics. Looking to Shadow, he said, "This, my dear—"

"Don't call me that," Shadow snapped. Her optics then suddenly grew wide. "I have no idea why that upset me so much."

Knockout sadly smiled to her. Unfortunately, we knew _exactly_ why it upset her so much. "It's fine. Anyway, this," he announced with an exaggerated flourish, "is Lord Starscream."

She snorts out a laugh. "_Lord_? What in the Pit led to him being a _Lord_?"

Growling, he strode forward, raising a hand as if to strike her. "Why you insolent, little…"

Knockout started moving towards him, as did I, while Breakdown shifted Shadow behind him. "Commander—"

"It. Is. _Lord_!"

Starscream shoved Knockout aside and approached Breakdown, intent on making him move so he could berate her, but he didn't need to ask. She side stepped the hulking Con and met Starscream face to face yet again. This time, however, was more startling then the last.

Her wings, twitching anxiously as they tried to unfurrow from her back, took a darker, more gunmetal gray coloration to them. They appeared sharper, less like soft, silvery-black protoform feathers and more like dangerous razors attached to her wings. Her optics, glaring dangerously at Starscream, grew harsher then before. And out of nowhere, a low, feral and animalistic growl came from the young Aurilian. Everyone's optics grew wide as they seemed to brace themselves for an impending fight. Then, Laserbeak suddenly detached himself from me and flew over to the femme.

And landed on Starscream's head.

At first, she seemed a bit startled by Laserbeak's sudden appearance. Then, just as quickly as the atmosphere had grown dangerous, Shadow giggled. Not laughed, not snickered. She _giggled_. A musical sound, one that I hadn't heard since she was little. That giggle seemed to spark recognition in Starscream's mind, because he stuttered, "Is that… but she… how—"

The sparkling-like giggles continued to pour out of the femme. Her wings relaxed and melted back into their softer looking protoform state. Laserbeak seemed to sense her calming, because he then flew from Starscream's head to hers. She gasped in delight, and her optics darted up to try and see my drone on her head. She clasped her hands together in delight, grinning wide, and then she reached up to stroke the underside of Laserbeak that was protruding over her face.

Now, I had known Laserbeak to on occasion land on my head when we were both in a pleasant and tranquil mood. He had done this once or twice for Shadow as a child, and she had always loved seeing the drone on top of my head because she thought it 'looked cute and funny,' and I allowed it because it had always helped when she was in her moods. Thank Primus that it still worked.

As Shadow distractedly stroked and watched Laserbeak, who contentedly whirred and beeped to the young femme, I turned my attention to the angered seeker who was currently demanding answers from Knockout.

"Give us a minute," Knockout responded in a harsh yet hushed tone. "Then we will explain." Moving from us to Shadow, he says, "Now, I know you like playing with Laserbeak and all, but we really should get on with those system checks."

Her gaze turned to the medic, and her sad pout mixed with the oversized drone sitting atop her head made her look… well, absolutely adorable. With a sigh, she says, "Fine… but does that one have to be here?" she asks while gesturing to Starscream.

"Unfortunately, yes, but don't worry, _she_ won't be allowed near you." Shadow giggled while Starscream grumbled to himself. "Now come on." As she sighed again and moved to sit on the medical berth, I sent a comm link blip to both Laserbeak and Knockout.

Laserbeak happily followed my instructions and flew off Shadow's head to reattach himself to her chassis in a similar fashion as he does with me, though he looked oversized and cumbersome for her lithe frame. The femme began to grin again as she sat on the medical birth and stroked along his frame. Knockout smiled as he sent me an approval message, but he stated that Laserbeak would have to move during the spark chamber scans.

As Knockout set up for stasis, he told her, "Now, don't worry. Nothing will happen to you. These are just scans, and you will be much more comfortable if they are performed while you are in stasis. Besides, you need the shut down time."

Shadow nervously nodded, and after shifting her cumbersome wings around a bit, she settled down and allowed Knockout to induce stasis. We all watched her optics slowly shutter shut, and her body lose its tension, signaling that she was finally out.

Turning to Airachnid, Knockout snaps, "What in the Pit did you do to her? The girl has a mental stability worse then Megatron!"

The spider harrumphed. "Like father, like daughter." Knockout moved to snap again, but Airachnid cut him off. "This is a _highly_ disorienting process, one that will take _time_ for her to adjust to. And before you ask, no, I didn't know that she would shift into an actual Cybertronian! All I knew is that she is of Aurilian capability, hence why Shiaron wanted her revived."

"So it was some of your pagan magic that brought the girl back. Wonderful," Starscream quipped sarcastically. "Now, does someone care to explain how a _human_ girl could shift into a Cybertronian?"

"Her T-cog," Knockout replies. "During my scans on her… corpse, I could see that the T-cog had been experiencing recent stress. As if it had been trying to learn how to work. I guess with the energon infusions, it finally did…"

"She doesn't have her memories…" Breakdown adds. "All she has is vague feelings about us."

The others began to let the reality of the situation settle. We finally have our little girl back. She was here, and we had a chance to start over, to reshape her without battling against the bonds and memories of growing up with the Autobots. If we played this right… we could have our girl finally become one of us. To finally become a true Decepticon.

I am silence. I am just a quiet observer, aware of everything in my surroundings, yet never one to make my presence known. I have lived amongst the side of deception for all these eons of war, and I know that when it comes to twisting the situation to our favor, we were all masters. Who better to play this game then the masters of deception?

* * *

**Now, what do they have planned next? Let me know what you think! Also, a lot of people have someone making Deviant Art of their characters. I like art, but I haven't been able to make a picture of Everon/Shadow that I like. If anyone wants to try, I can give you a more detailed description of either her human form or Aurilian form. I'm introducing her paintjob later.**

**Anyway, please review! The more reviews, the faster I post! Also, any ideas or suggestions are welcome! They might help solidify my plot line.**


	3. Waking Up

**To the guest user **_**Neon**_**-**** I cannot confirm nor deny which way it will go, but trust me, he shall have a big role in this story. Plus, he is one of my favorite TFP characters, so yeah, I am a bit partial to the pairing as well.**

**Alright, I shortened the song in this chapter. It was awkwardly long, but I really wanted it as the opener. This song is a bit more pop like then what I would have normally put here, but I imagine this played with just a guitar at a slower.**

* * *

"_Feeling my way through the darkness  
__Guided by a beating heart  
__I can't tell where the journey will end  
__But I know where to start.;_

"_They tell me I'm too young to understand  
__They say I'm caught up in a dream  
__Well life will pass me by if I don't open up my eyes  
__Well that's fine by me…_

"_I tried carrying the weight of the world  
__But I only have two hands  
__Hope I get the chance to travel the world  
__But I don't have any plans._

"_Wish that I could stay forever this young  
__Not afraid to close my eyes  
__Life's a game made for everyone  
__And love is the prize._

"_So wake me up when it's all over  
__When I'm wiser and I'm older  
__All this time I was finding myself  
__And I didn't know I was lost…._

"_Didn't know I was lost  
__I didn't know I was lost  
__I didn't know I was lost  
__I didn't know (didn't know, didn't know)."_

_Avicii, "Wake Me Up"_

* * *

I may not remember who I am, but I do remember certain things. Little random memories: fragments floating through my mind. I should say processor, because that's what Cybertronians have, but I say mind because I can tell that I am not thinking like a Cybertronian.

Cybertronians do not dream.

I see flashes through my mind. Running down a street, giggling and laughing as I goad someone, a boy, to catch me. Sitting on a mech's shoulder, listening intently as he explains some data readings to me, only for attention to be stolen by… _something_ over on a hill, something that made my spark stop and the mech to panic. Sitting contently in a sports car, one with a strong and loud humming engine, musing to myself how it is like a personal lullaby.

And then, I hear a deep, baritone voice, one with a slight scratchy quality to it.

"_Don't you know, I'll never let go?  
__And you  
__Are safe if my arms."_

I can feel the mech cradling me close to his chassis, and I turn my sleepy and groggy eyes to him. One last glance at the tall and intimidating yet surprisingly kind and gentle gunmetal gray mech, before the lullaby fades from my ears and sleep claims me.

A voice comes to me, one different then the last, yet one that seems so familiar with a similar protective, fatherly tone to it. It said in low and strong voice, _"I love you too. Always remember that, my dear Everon."_

* * *

I woke to a steady drumming sound. Not like someone was hitting anything. The sound was series of tapping from servos being dropped on a table in series. Whoever the offender was, they would bring their servos down in the rapid tapping series, and then pause for a few moments.

_Drum. Two, Three, Four. Drum. Two, Three, Four. Drum. Two, Three, Four._

The sound was _maddening_. My servos twitched. My mouth tensed into a hard line, border-lining on a scowl. I just wanted it to _stop_, to allow me to _sleep_, to allow me to _dream_.

Yet the drumming continued.

_Drum. Two, Three, Four. Drum. Two, Three, Four. Drum. Two, Three, Four._

Before the servos could come down again, they were stopped, clenched in my own servos from when my arm had instinctually shot out to stop the incessant noise. "I take it you are finally awake?" said a surprisingly calm and steady voice. Knockout. The medic who called me his little sister.

I snort, my eyes—_optics_— still stubbornly clenched shut as I lay on the medical berth upon my back. An uncomfortable position, given my wings. _My wings…_ "I would still be sleeping if you weren't annoying me so much." I try peeking my eyes—_Optics_, I remind myself, _You have optics now_— open slightly, yet even in the dull light of the ship, my optics snapped shut once again, not wanting to adjust just yet.

"Why, little sister, you wound me. And here I thought you _liked_ my company. _Everyone_ loves my company." I can hear him stand, and I release my steely grip. In return, I can feel one of his servos slip under my back just below where my wings attached, and then he helped me to slowly sit upright. "But, unfortunately, you shouldn't stay under much longer then this. Too much recharge is bad for a Cybertronian's systems."

I groan, my optics still stubbornly held shut. I pull my feet close, knees jutting in the air, as I sit hunched on the medical berth, wings drooping off to the side, and try to adjust to being awake. "I feel like maybe I could have used another few hours…"

This time, he snorts. "A Cybertronian requires only about two hours of recharge at a time. You had three. If the sound hadn't of woken you up, and I wasn't worried about you attacking me, I would have resorted to shaking you awake."

I finally manage to open my optics, blinking rapidly as they slowly adjust to the room's lighting. I look about the med lab, still the same as before I entered shut down, before settling my optics on the red mech with purple detailing standing resolute beside me. When I first turned my gaze on him, I knew that while his flashy exterior and personality said otherwise, he was not a mech to be messed with. His stance was dangerous yet nonchalant, his facial expressions exaggerated and suggesting an unpredictable nature. And his optics… his blood red on ebony pool optics had a feral glint, one that suggested that if you were to be left at this mech's mercy, he would make you _crave_ death.

Yet by the Allspark, why did he make me feel so _safe_?

"So," he drawls, bringing me out of my silent examinations of him. "All the scans came back clear. Besides a few lingering human elements, your systems have almost completely shifted." His ever-present smirk took on an almost proud edge. "I can now officially deem you a Cybertronian."

I grin and suddenly launch myself at the medic. He gives a startled cry as I tackled him in a hug while I giggled and laughed like a fiend. I may not remember much, if anything, about my time as a human, but I was ecstatic for some reason over the idea of being Cybertronian. Just then, the med lab doors slide open, and the hulking figure of Breakdown comes through.

Still grinning, my head snaps up from where I was hugging and straddling the stunned Knockout on the floor. Suddenly, I'm up and running towards Breakdown, proceeded by my launching myself upwards to latch my arms around his neck while my legs bent up into the air. Being careful of my wings, he wraps his arms around my waist and hugs me back while laughing, a motion that shakes both his frame and mine. "So, what did I do to deserve a hug?" He asks with a grin, and then quickly spins me, causing me to squeal and latch more tightly to his neck.

"I'm happy!" I yell excitedly. "I'm happy! I'm Cybertronian! And I… I just feel happy!" I yell while laughing. Breakdown chuckles in return and then stands me back on the floor. I immediately jump back and then start spinning, unaware of my slowly spreading wings. "I'm happy! I'm happy! I'm _home_!" At the moment I yell that I was home, I stop spinning and throw my hands in the air. Unfortunately, my wings, which I still have no idea how to control, took this as a cue to spread full length.

And let me tell you, they are _huge_.

Spreading almost the length of the lab, its no surprise that they manage to knock over several sets of beakers on the counters as well as other various equipment, but unfortunately, the other wing hit Knockout square in the chassis as he moved to stand up, knocking him right back on the ground. I squeaked in surprise when all this happened, but before I could fully retract them, one of my wings unfortunately caught a stray wire from some important looking equipment, and when it was pulled, sparks began flying.

Then, the entire lab went dark.

As we stood in the dark, the sizzling of the sparking wire could be heard, accompanied by the faint flash of light from the sparks. Soon, the emergency power came back on, and I stood there, entirely embarrassed and shell-shocked. I felt horrible, looking around at the chaos I had created in a few mere minutes. Actually, more like a minute…

Before I could start apologizing, though, a loud and boisterous laughter filled the room, and I looked to see Breakdown off behind me, clutching his gut. "I'm sorry, Little Bit, but… Primus, this is almost as bad as the first time _I_ came through the med lab!" My wings were now drawn tightly around my front as I grasp the top of them and peak over towards the pair.

"Nothing will ever be as bad as _that._"Knockout had finally stood back up and was walking towards Breakdown while brushing off imaginary dirt. "At least I hadn't yet fixed my paint from earlier."

It's then that I notice all the scratches and even a dent or two along his chassis and arms. Looking to Breakdown, he appeared in similar if not worse shape. Looking at my long and thin yet very sharp servos, my optics widen as I realize what happened. "I did that… didn't I? I am so—"

"Don't apologize. It's fine. You were confused and disoriented," Knockout said simply. With a slight smirk back on his face, he adds, "My paint needed to be redone anyway."

I look to Breakdown and begin to speak, but he cuts me off as well. "Does it really look like I care about my looks, Little Bit? No harm, no foul." I close my mouth and then lower my head and nod shyly behind my wings as I still grasped them around me. "Honestly, given the fact that you were exhausted and confused, I'm pretty impressed on how well you handled yourself."

My head perked up as I began to grin. I drop my wings, which in turn settle behind me again, and say, "Really?"

Knockout chuckled. "Yes, you were quite the little scrapper." Looking at Breakdown, he crossed his arms and quirked a brow as he smirked at the large mech. "Maybe next time I say to use a lower grade of Energon, you will listen to me."

Breakdown sheepishly rubbed the back of his helm as I tilt mine to the side and inquisitively ask, "What do you mean a lower grade?"

Knockout turns to me and with an air of nonchalance, he states, "Energon is classified by percentage grades: the higher, the more energy the mech has. But the higher the grade, the harder to make, and the harder for the receiver to control their actions."

"Basically," Breakdown cuts in, "the drunker you are."

Knockout nods his head thoughtfully. "Normally, Vehicons use 10%, officers, 12%, except larger mech's need about 15%. Femmes your size should have about 8%."

"Well what grade did you give me?" I ask cautiously.

Breakdown looks as if he was trying to cover for himself. "Well, the Vehicons' were made of low quality stuff, and Screamer had guards monitoring the 12% when Airachnid was trying to revive you, and we don't even make 8% on the ship… So I grabbed a stash of emergency 15% from Megatron's quarters."

I felt my jaw drop as Knockout cuts in. "It's not dangerous. You just need to burn off some energy."

Breakdown then grins. Within moments, I'm yelping as he hoists me over his shoulder. "Time to show you the training room!" Before he can start walking though, I'm out of his grip, and he is on the floor with a few well-placed hits and twists.

"I can walk just fine, thank you!" I tell him with a happy tone to my voice. As I turn to march towards the med lab doors, I feel a pair of large servos grasp my legs, and I let out a loud 'oomph' as I fall to the floor with a thud. The mock fighting continues for a few moments before Knockout finally yells at us.

"Will you two knock it off!" We pause and turn to look at the irritated medic, all while contemplating whether or not we should actually stop our playful wrestling. That's when the door opened, and in stepped the silent Soundwave accompanied by my _favorite _Seeker, Starscream.

Note the sarcasm.

I have barely interacted with him, and I already know that I don't like him. At all. His pompous attitude and his acting like he was some almighty leader makes me want to tear out that shrilly little voice box of his.

"Should I even _bother_ asking what in the Pit is going on?" he asks in an exasperated tone as his gaze travels around the destroyed room before settling on Breakdown and I, still locked together from our mock wrestling match.

"It's called wrestling, Screamer," I say in an equally exasperated tone. He seems to double take a bit at the nickname, but it just seemed so natural to me to use it. "I'm hyper, and we were just messing around."

Knockout cuts in. "She has excess energy in her systems. She needs to burn it off, and they _were_ heading to the sparring room."

Breakdown grins from our tangled position on the floor. "Didn't quite make it. Little Bit here doesn't like to be carried in this form apparently." I snort and move to twist out of his grasp. My wings were sprawled in random directions, and it was not until I manage to stand up that they drew to my back. I think I was beginning to get a handle on them…

…Until Screamer grabbed my shoulder, and they flexed out, effectively knocking him flat on his aft.

I sigh and bury my face into my servos. "Why in the frag did I get stuck with wings…"

Starscream glared at me while Breakdown and Knockout tried to maintain their composure and not laugh. "Why you little _brat_! How _dare_ you disrespect your commanding officer this way! I could—"

"You could what, my lord?" Knockout asked, the remnants of a smirk playing on his lips. "She is merely adjusting to her new form. We should expect incidents like this: she is worse off then the average Cybertronian with an upgrade. I mean, she has never had a Cybertronian form before, and now she is not only fully Cybertronian, but a winged Aurilian no less. Besides, shouldn't we be a bit more… encouraging to our little _princess_?"

Starscream sputtered a bit, searching for a proper reply, but I interrupted him. "Wait, what do you mean princess?" All three of them immediately tensed, sharing a look of concern. "Who exactly am I?"

Knockout sighed, and then gave me a sad look. "You might want to sit down for this story…"

* * *

I walk through the halls of the Nemesis, drowning in the eerie silence that surrounds me. My processor was spinning, the newfound knowledge of who exactly I was echoing like a hollow laughter. What a joke I am. I gave up this, this family, for the Autobots. And what do I get in return?

I'm left to die at the hands of those insects that call themselves MECH.

Primus, was I really that naïve? I keep mentally berating myself, not intently paying attention to where I was, or where I was heading. With a growl of frustration, I suddenly turn to the side and punch the nearby wall. The pain is minimal, but as I pull back my servos, I realize that I had not just punched the wall, but I had in fact punched some sort of keypad near a sliding door. The keypad was dented inwards, shooting a few minor sparks before falling off the wall completely.

Bending my knees in a crouched position, I scoop up the damaged panel, turning it from side to side before tossing it back on the floor. "Well, scrap," I mumble to myself. "Barely half an hour since you woke up from stasis, and you've already managed to knock over Knockout and Starscream, as well as destroy the med lab and… what ever this is." I say the last part as I bend farther down and poke the panel that I had thrown back on the floor.

Distracted by my self-chastisement, I'm startled when I hear a noise next to me, causing me to snap my head towards the doorway as I hear the quiet hiss of it slowly sliding open. I stand, and with measured and cautious steps, I enter through the door to find a small, blank room. Scrunching my brows together, I step all the way in and place my fists on my hips, looking for some use of this room. That's when the doors slide shut, and I nearly jump out of my skin.

Do I even have skin?

Spinning around, I see another panel next to the door, this one with numerous numbers in what I vaguely remember as being Cybertronian labeling various buttons. "Primus, I'm an idiot: I'm in a slagging elevator." Figuring that no harm could come by it, I push a random button, one that I seemed most familiar with, and let the elevator take me up a few floors. "At least it still works with the broken panel…"

Soon, the elevator comes to a stop, and the doors slide open yet again. Sticking my head out to peer down either side of the quiet hallway, I wonder where all the soldiers must be. I step into the deserted hall and just walk in the direction that feels most familiar, as when I had pushed the most familiar button in the elevator. I may not have my memories, but familiar paths and routines leave imprints in your mind, and right now, this imprint is leading me to a certain room.

As I stand outside of the massive doorway, I can't help but wonder why this room would be familiar to me. Looking at the keypad, I see that it is coded. I close my eyes in order to let my mind wander and just try and picture the code, anything that might help, while I let my hand hover over the keys. Just as I begin to think that this is a stupid idea, I begin to type a set of Cybertronian characters on a whim.

As the doors open, I think of how I had typed in Shadow Tronus.

The room was large, and though it had designs that signified it belonging to someone of high rank, it was very utilitarian and sparse in design with everything seeming to be in a specific spot for a specific reason. The far wall displayed a large purple insignia, one identical to the mark that the others on the ship wore. As I look from the desk against that wall to the large berth off to the side, I realize that this must be someone's living quarters.

It's around this time that I notice the sharp contrast of the utilitarian room to the far corner. Approaching the area, I see how it is consists of various furniture on a much smaller scale. The area is messy and disorganized, random articles of cloth strewn everywhere along with random objects. Though the colors were not overly bright, they were more noticeable then the rest of the room.

Tucked in the corner of this section of chaos, multiple… canvases is what I believe they were called, were stacked or leaned against the wall. The actual walls of this corner were absolutely _covered_ in sheets of… paper. Sheets of paper, each with colorful, painted designs and sketches, covered these walls and even bled over into the utilitarian areas of the room. The styles varied from realistic to lose and abstract forms, all of which were strangely entrancing to observe. To add to the chaos, paints covered the floors and walls of this corner of the room, vaguely noticeable through all the clutter. More pieces of cloth laid about, covered in paint.

As I look more closely at the pictures, I realize that most were of Cybertronians. Most were of a large and intimidating looking silver mech, a mech who reminded me of the mech singing to me in my dreams. He made me feel… safe. Somehow, I knew this room to belong to him.

Several of Knockout, several of Breakdown, several of Soundwave, even a few of Starscream… none of Airachnid. I wasn't too sad to learn of that. As I examine the pictures further, I see some of generic looking Cybertronians, ones clad in simple purple and black paint jobs, but judging by the fact that there were multiple in these pictures, I assumed that they were the soldiers onboard this ship. I had yet to actually see them, so I was unsure.

Then I saw pictures of other Cybertronians. A large, green Cybertronian with a heavy girth but a happy smile. Another with a yellow and black paint job in a funny pose. He looked young. A red and white Cybertronian who looked decently older tinkering with some tools. A blue femme with a few small, pink accents in a fighter's stance and a confident smirk. A tall and regal looking red and blue mech, one with kind optics. Lastly, a deep, crimson red mech with chrome horns on his head and a wide-set grin.

The last one made my spark ache.

I could tell that these Cybertronians were not Decepticons. Something in the back of my mind just _knew_: these were the Autobots. I could feel the sneer grow on my face as I thought of how my childhood self could be fooled into thinking they cared about me. If they had truly cared, they wouldn't have left me at the hands of MECH to die. My gaze settles back on the tall and regal mech, and I realize that this must be the _infamous_ Optimus Prime. My sneer deepens as a hatred forms towards the Autobot scum I had in my previous life called my father.

The mech whom I had followed, leading to injured stasis that my true father, Megatron, now lies in.

The realization of Optimus Prime's pictures caused my gaze to snap back towards the silver mech. My spark skipped a beat with the realization of his identity. That was _him_. My father, Megatron. Primus, what took me so long to realize it? This was his room, and this corner, it must have been my quarters. Given that as a human I was much smaller and I had lived with the Decepticons at an age where I could be considered a sparkling, it only made sense that I would room with my father.

I'm just shocked that he had left my room untouched for all these years.

A noise at the room's entrance breaks me from my trance. "Who are you?" a voice asks from the door. "What are you doing in here?"

I stare at this little corner of the room, the corner that my true father had left untouched all these years. "I'm here gaining clarity," I tell the voice. Rising slowly and turning around, I am met by the sight of a few soldiers, staring at me with nervous stances. The one in the front, though, stands tall and resolute in front of the others. "As for who I am, I am but a shell of what I once was. The old me, though, was a naïve child, and I intend to _never_ be that way ever again."

The lead soldier's blaster lowered, and his tense stance loosened. "Your eyes… your optics… Princess? Is that you?"

I give him a sad smile. "I may be Shadow Tronus, but I am not your Princess. Not yet. I have not earned it yet. But I have every intention of doing so." I straightened my stance and moved towards them and the door. They all gained a formal posture and backed away, slightly inclining their heads to me. I stop and place my servos on the shoulders of the two closest to me. "Do not bow," I tell them softly yet firmly. "As I have said, I have not earned this praise yet."

"Yes, Pri— Shadow, I mean," the original speaker replies. I tilt my helm to him and note his wings twitching on his back in a slightly excited way.

Smiling, I ask, "What is your designation?"

"D38TS-7, sir," he replies smoothly and efficiently.

Chuckling, I correct myself. "No, I meant, what is your name?"

He hesitates for the first time since our encounter began. During this time, I note the long scrape on the side of his head. "Rowback. My name is Rowback."

I start to grin. Then, linking arms with the soldier, I ask, "Well, Rowback, my new friend, care to lead me to the bridge? I would like an audience with Starscream and Soundwave, and I figure they will be there." Turning my head to the other stunned soldiers, I add, "And the rest of you can make introductions along the way."

* * *

"What exactly do you plan on asking them?" Rowback asked. Out of the group of soldiers currently accompanying me to the bridge, he was the most at ease with speaking to me.

"I'm… going to make a request," I say hesitantly. "Not sure what they are going to make of it, but I think it's something necessary." I glance at Rowback and the other Seekers in his company. "You all are flyers. Do you serve together in the field? And who leads the flyers?"

"We are a few members of our squadron," the nervous Windglide responds.

Treetop cuts in. "As far as leading us, we have squad leaders such as Rowback," he says while inclining his head to the confident mech next to me, and honestly, this fact didn't surprise me. "But Starscream has always led and trained the _Nemesis'_ armada."

I groaned as I tilted my head back and then let it slump forward. They all laughed lightly. "Yeah, Starscream can be a pain in the aft," Rowback says without a hint of caution.

The other Vehicons—they finally told me the formal name for the Decepticon soldiers— all tensed at Rowback's words, but they immediately relaxed when I began to lightly laugh as they did. "Yeah, it's just going to make things interesting for me…"

Rowback tilted his head in a gesture that suggested curiousity. "What do—" At this point, we had turned a corner and ended up in front of a large doorway. It immediately opened, and the Vehicons straightened up where they flanked me, Rowback immediately dropping my arm. With them following me, I strode onto the ship's bridge.

In front of me, I could see the backs of Starscream and Soundwave on the main bridge, as I expected, but I was a little surprised to see Knockout and Breakdown there as well. They all looked… tense. Whatever they were talking about, they obviously were not agreeing upon.

Before I could hear anymore of their conversation, Soundwave turned from his station and strode forward to meet me. I smirked and continued forward, my Vehicon companions waiting near the door. "Hey Soundwave— What are you doing?!"

The silent mech had caught me off guard when as soon as he reached me, he placed his long servos on either side of my waist and simply picked me up. His servos wrapped the width of my waist, making it easy for him to simply hold me out in front of him as he turned and walked back to his station. I futilely kicked my legs and my wings twitched as he carried me. Soon, I crossed my arms, huffing while I sent a glare at the faceless TIC. Once at his station, he sat me carefully on the edge of his workstation and returned to his typing.

My glare had yet to leave my face, but I turned it towards the smirking Knockout and snickering Breakdown. "Well," Knockout began with an amused tone. "It appears that Soundwave intends on keeping up his habit of carrying you away."

Breakdown smiled at me. "You have no idea how often he would just walk into the med lab, pick you up, and walk away without an explanation. We learned the hard way that it's best to just let him take you."

I roll my optics, and with my arms still crossed over my chassis, I turn my gaze towards the grumbling Starscream. "I need to make a request."

With his ever-present sarcastic tone, he asks, "And what exactly do you _request_, little princess?"

My glare hardens, and I lowly growl at the condescending mech. Quickly, I snap my optics shut and compose myself before saying, "I'm not your princess. I haven't earned that title, and based on my past actions, I don't even deserve this second chance."

Knockout sighs, "Shadow—"

I raise my palm to him to cut off his words. Opening my gaze back up, I lower myself from my seat on Soundwave's station and look Starscream dead in his optics. "I want to atone for my past mistakes and earn my way back into the Decepticons. My blood shouldn't be enough to earn that back."

Raising a brow, Starscream clasps his servos behind his back and leans forward. "And what, pray tell, do you mean?"

"I wish to rejoin the Decepticons as a soldier and earn my title as your princess." Trying to swallow my growl and mask my need to sneer at him, I instead kneel down on one knee and incline my helm to his peds. "I request your permission to serve you as a loyal soldier in your Seeker Armada."

The following silence was deafening.

* * *

**I'm cutting it off there. Originally, I had been considering writing more, but that would just result in this being an overly long chapter and the next being extremely short by my standards. **

**So, let me know what you think of Shadow's request! Any thoughts and opinions? Also, let me know if you are confused by anything. I intend to explain things further in the story soon, but I don't want you to be confused over anything while reading.**


	4. Author's Note

**Author's Note: **

**I swear I'm going to post a chapter next Friday! I have an exam tomorrow and the beginning of next week, but after that, I can focus on writing and stockpile my chapters. Then I will update weekly from here out. Promise! Again, I'm sorry… **

**Also, to Transformersgal, I'm sorry about the last chapter, but it was necessary to the plot, so please don't glitch! It will get better, and Starscream won't be too bad… Hopefully. Depends on my mood next week when I finish this chapter.**

**Anyway, the chapter will be up next Friday! Promise!**


	5. Trigger

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE: READ PLEASE!**_

**I'm BACK! Sorry, exams are evil incarnate. Now that I'm done, I'm gonna stock pile chapters over the break so this won't happen again… Hopefully. I'm officially declaring Fridays as my posting days unless something comes up, then I should post Saturday. **

**I shouldn't miss my posting days, and if I do, I will most likely leave you a warning in the Author's Notes the week before. SO PLEASE READ THEM! I know what it's like to skip over them to the story, I am a bad culprit at this, but at least scroll back to them. PLEASE? This is my best way to communicate to you.**

**Also, I'm writing this between my beta reading for StoryLady35's "The Sound of Scrap's Heart" and Graceful-Kuja's "It's Love?" so I'm learning to balance all this.**

**Anyway, onto the story!**

* * *

_"Sweet dreams are made of this  
__Who am I to disagree?  
__Travel the world and the seven seas,  
__Everybody's looking for something.  
_

_"Some of them want to use you  
__Some of them want to get used by you.  
__Some of them want to abuse you  
__Some of them want to be abused._

_"I'm gonna use you and abuse you,  
__I'm gonna know what's inside.  
__Gonna use you and abuse you,  
__I'm gonna know what's inside you."_

"_Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)", by Emily Browning_

* * *

If you could see the way they were looking at me right now, you might think that I had asked to go on some suicide mission.

"Are you out of your fragging mind?!"

…Maybe Knockout's reaction suggested some validity to my previous thought.

Starscream scowled at the medic. "And what, pray tell, is so wrong about her officially joining my armada?" One of his servos that had been carefully folded behind his back gestured to where I still kneeled on the bridge. "She is, technically, a flyer. And she wants to prove herself. What better way then to let her fight?"

Before Knockout could yell at the seeker like he so clearly wanted to do, Breakdown intervened. "My… Lord…" he said carefully after blocking Knockout from moving forward and giving him a pointed look. "She is still in need of careful observation. We aren't sure how she is going to react to her new form. Also, she doesn't even have any weapons, and we aren't exactly stocked for her size."

Having calmed down, Knockout added with a smirk, "Besides, even if she doesn't feel worthy, she _is_ still the _true_ heir to the Decepticon throne. It wouldn't bode well for you to put the heir in harm's way, now would it?"

Starscream's scowl deepened as he ground out, "No… of_ course_ we wouldn't want our precious _princess_ out in the field unarmed… but, this is her choice, and who are we to deny her that?" Before Knockout could respond, Starscream had turned and continued. "She can be fitted with weapons later, and for now she can claim a few protective weapons from the armory. That and some brief training should sufficiently train her for light missions."

That's when Knockout shouted, "You cannot overrule Megatron's decision!"

Hushed silence. "What decision?" Starscream asked carefully as he looked back over his shoulder.

His confidence returning, Knockout declared, "She was deemed to be my apprentice early on, _my liege_, back when she was but a young sparkling. She showed much potential then, and now that she has a proper form, I can only see her excelling more under my tutelage."

"I was your apprentice?" I asked softly as I rose from the floor.

With a kind smile, one that I assumed was rare and meant only for me, he said, "Quite talented, might I add. You might even surpass me one day." Then, with his normal smirk, he adds, "Might."

"Well then," Starscream cuts in. "It seems we are at an impasse. She may have been assigned to you, but she has just pledged herself to me, so, since I can pull rank, I say—"

"Now, hold on—"

"I didn't know I was his apprentice! I—"

"Lord Starscream, this is ridiculous—"

"Ahem." All of our arguing ceases to look back at the cluster of Vehicons who had accompanied me to the bridge. They all stared at Rowback who confidently stepped forward to speak. "May I make a suggestion?"

Before Starscream could snap back at him, I say with an exasperated sigh, "Oh, don't get your landing gears in a twist. Let him speak."

The Vehicon leader then said, "You could make her a field medic. She wouldn't be in the direct line of fire, yet still both be in the field and acting as Knockout's apprentice. You know how adverse the sides are to combatting those who are strictly field medics." While a grin grew on my face, I could see the optics of the other officers widen as they considered the idea. Then, upon seeing that the officers were being receptive of his idea, Rowback continued. "Also, if it would make you more comfortable with her being in the field, she could accompany my squad on training exercises, and we could see to it that she has sufficient skills for combat."

By this point, Starscream stepped forward, servos laced behind his back as he slightly leaned forward and spoke. "What is your designation?"

"D38T5-7, my Lord."

"His _name_ is Rowback," I say indignantly while I cross my arms and glare at the back of Starscream's head.

Starscream, in turn, ignores me and continues to address the Vehicon seeker. "Hmm… you're the leader of one of my top ranking Armada squadrons, aren't you? Very well. If you want the burden—" I snap out an angered 'hey!' while Breakdown snickers at me, "—of training the femme, then I will not stop you."

Breakdown steps forward and adds, "While I'm not gonna be much help with the flying aspect, I want to head up her combat training. If she can learn to handle me, ain't none of the Autobots gonna be a problem."

With a roll of his optics and an exasperated sigh, Starscream says, "Fine, fine. Whatever. Are we all happy now? Now will everyone get off of my bridge: it's getting crowded in here. Shadow can start her training with the seekers as soon as Knockout's cleared her. Now, all of you, leave! You're giving me a processor ache…"

By this point, Knockout strode forward to me and grasped my upper arm. Giving Rowback a quick nod of thanks as he leads me out of the bridge, Breakdown trailing closely behind, he doesn't let up his grip until we are far down the hall. Then, he abruptly stops and stares daggers at me. "What in the name of Primus were you thinking? You are the Decepticon heir, not some common soldier! You shouldn't be fighting your way to something that's already yours!"

I glare daggers right back at him. "I haven't earned _anything_. I don't want some title that was just handed to me because I'm Megatron's daughter! I want to earn the right to call myself that. And from what I've heard about my past, I haven't even earned the right to call myself a Decepticon!" I start to storm off away from him, but a larger servo grabbed my wrist.

I turned to coldly glare at the offender, but my gaze softens when I see the worried optics of Breakdown. "Hey, look, we just… We don't want to see you hurt again. The Autobots let you go out on a mission, and you were tortured and killed. We don't want another body. I… I wouldn't be able to handle that. None of us would."

With a sigh, I reach up and wrap my slender arms around his neck. Without missing a beat, he wraps his arms around me as well, lifting me from the ground, and squeezes firmly, as if trying to make sure I was real. When he finally sits me back down, I say with a sigh, "Look, I know you two aren't happy with my decision… but I need this. I need to feel like I've earned my place here, that I deserve to be Megatron's daughter."

Breakdown gives me a sad, yet understanding look. I smile softly back before looking to Knockout who glared off at nothing. I strode forward to him, but before I could speak, he says, "If you get yourself shot, I am locking you in the med lab and never letting you out."

I laugh lightly before hugging him. "Watch the paint…" he mumbles as he hugs me as tightly if not more so than Breakdown. Then, he pulls back and says, "Alright, enough of the dramatics. We need to finish analyzing the data from your scans."

I stared intently at the mech before saying, "I'm not going to get anymore scans… Right? I do _not_ want to deal with that again."

He rolled his optics and huffed as he walked away. "Honestly, you are just as bad as your father…"

As Breakdown and I follow, Breakdown chimes in by saying, "Hey, at least she only growls at you. Megatron growls _and _threatens to throw you through a wall."

"Don't give her any ideas."

* * *

I watch as Breakdown hits the ground like a falling tree, giving a satisfying groan of pain. Though a bit cruel, I can't help but slyly grin as he lies sprawled across on the training room's floor. "Okay, Little Bit," he grunts out. "I give. You don't need any help with hand to hand."

After bringing my attention from the guitar rift playing over the speakers, I scoff at him. "You're holding back." Using my newly found strength, I leap from my stationary standing point and land with a satisfying thunk upon his chest, crouching in a gargoyle-like stance. "C'mon! I can take it!" I could feel a wide Cheshire grin grow upon my face as he vented out a sigh.

"Maybe after a break…."

"Aww! You're no fun! C'mon, one more round. Please?"

"Knockout, help me out here!"

"And what help would I be?" Knockout asks as he casually leaned against one of the walls. His sinister smirk, the one I was coming to realize that I had the habit of mimicking, spread across his face. "I'm a _medic_, in charge of her _medical_ training. You called dibs on her sparring lessons, all powerful _warrior_."

"Go frag yourself." A few of the on looking Vehicons snickered, but they immediately silenced at Breakdown's glare.

"Oh, lighten up, big guy." With a flip backwards, I land on my feet, feeling a pleasant buzz of energy course through my systems. "Now, are we sparring or not?"

"Not," Knockout casually responds from the side. "I need to scan you to see how your systems are holding up." Upon seeing me about to protest, he holds up a servo and says, "It's only a basic scan, and if you refuse, I'm going to cut off your sparring practice till you comply."

I began to mutter some obscenities under my breath, but a new voice brought me from my thoughts. "Maybe she should spar against someone who is on the same level as she is." My head darts to the open doorway to see the only other Decepticon femme onboard the Nemesis.

"Hello, Airachnid," Knockout sneered. His entire body language shifted. The once cool and calm medic with a feral smirk became tense and angry, scowling at the new arrival to our sparring group. "I don't really think Everon needs training from _you_."

I scrunch my optic ridges together in a puzzled gesture as I tilt my head to the side. "Why can't she help? It's not like more training will hurt me, right?"

Breakdown sat upright. "I'd rather let you pound me into a scrapheap before I let you train with a torture specialist."

My optics widen as I stare at the femme who nonchalantly sighed to Breakdown's accusation. "Be as threatened as you want, I'm still the best suited to be her trainer. We already know she can handle the big ones like you: now she needs to learn how to handle the dangerous ones."

"She is not—"

"Seriously?" I snap. "Just yesterday, you two were freaking about me being in the field. You were worried about me getting _hurt_. Now, someone who specializes more dangerous forms of combat offers to spar with me, _and you say no_?! What the frag!"

Knockout sighs, and then moves to approach me. "Look, Shadow—"

"She and I are sparring," I declare, my tone authoritative and unyielding as my back straightens and wings twitch irritably. Almost as if it was matching my darkening mood, the already heavy metal music playing took a faster, more sinister twist, delving into lyrics that sounded more violent, occasionally even screamed rather than sung. Looking back at the spider-like Con, I say, "Don't hold back."

With a confident smirk, one that should send chills through my wings, she responds, "I wouldn't have it any other way."

Quick as a flash, she lunged forward, talons at the ready. I swiftly dodge to the side, narrowly avoiding her attack as well as the volleys she repeats, slashing her talons as I shift from position to position. When she gets too close for comfort, I grasp her forearm, wrapping my arm around hers. Swinging a leg up, I have it wrapped around her neck before she can blink, and I use the foot still firmly planted on the ground as a pivot point to throw her over my head as I flip backwards into a crouch.

Though the move was unorthodox, she flew straight into the far wall, hitting it with a satisfying thud. The Vehicons standing near that area of the wall all jumped back, clearly startled by the flying Spider. Cracking my neck, I slowly rise from my crouch and flex my wings, adjusting them after the flip. Feeling empowered from both the blaring music and the fight, I taunt, "I thought you said you weren't holding back?"

With a slow, almost sinister laugh, she replies, "Oh, Shadow, you have much to learn." With that, she lunges from the ground, using her long, spindly legs to propel her from the floor towards me.

I pull a foot back to gain a better stance, but her lunge still knocks me to the ground with a dull sense of pain in my abdomen. As she dug her sharply plated knee into my chassis, I realize that I'm just going to have to grin and bear the next bit of pain.

Tensing my wings to raise me off the floor, I bend up my lower half, gritting my teeth as her knee dug deeper because of each movement, and when I lock my legs firmly around her waist, I use the new leverage to pull my torso out from under her. A loud scraping could be heard because of the way her knee was pressed into me chassis armor, but it was a minor cost for freeing myself.

Surprisingly, as I feel the pain shoot through my chest, I feel… more powerful, more energized and alert. It was strange and should have unnerved me, but at the moment, my mind was lost in the fight.

As soon as my torso is free, I drop to my servos and the tips of my feet before pushing myself up and away. Then, as she turns to face me, I have already gained a proper stance and land a perfect spinning kick to her face, followed by me suddenly bringing said leg down on one of her closest spiderlike appendages. She cries in pain as the sickening snap fills the room, and I allow her to stagger backwards.

She growls as she cradles her broken appendage close. Narrowed, violet glowing optics slowly rise to meet mine. "You are going to pay for that one, my little Aurial."

Before I can ask, she lunges again, with more purpose in her optics then before. What had started as a spar had turned into a full-fledged conflict between us, both her and I alternating between fierce and precise jabs to clean and efficient blocks, neither seeming to have definite edge on the other.

That is, until one of Airachnid's poisoned talons raked down my arm.

I yelped in pain, jumping back to cradle my wounded limb. The actual protoform damage was minimal, but the poison was what did the real damage. Only, as I felt the pain grow in my arm, it felt… familiar to me. I knew this pain. And oddly enough: it didn't bother me. Instead, it empowered me, gave me a sense of renewed strength and determination.

Too bad it also brought forth rage.

"Shadow!" Knockout cried out. "For Primus sake, Airachnid, that poison will kill—"

Before the medic could finish, I felt a sudden, primal edge take over. All sound was blocked out, even the steady and fierce rock music that I had been pacing myself to. With a feral snarl, I lunged for the Spider. Whereas before I had been sparring with the intent of only minimal damage, now I wanted more. I wanted her energon spilt across the floor. I craved it, needed it, and as these thoughts flew through my head, I felt a familiar tingle spread through my wings.

I did not need to look to see that they now mimicked the darker gray tone they had taken when I argued with Starscream, and as I spun, instinctively using the wings to hit Airachnid and draw long gashes across her form, I knew that they had become the sharpest of razors.

She fell to the floor upon her servos and knees, gasping in the immense pain that the one strike of my razor wings had caused. Then, before I could lunge again, she laughed. She laughed softly to herself in a way one would if they had just come to some ridiculous conclusion of a thought.

That or if they had lost their sanity.

She lightly shook her helm from side to side. "I should have known."

My optic ridges scrunched together, and I tilted my helm to the side. "Should have known what?"

With a casual smirk, she looked up to me. "I should have known that your trigger was pain."

My optics widened, and before I could respond, Breakdown has grabbed me from behind. "Sorry, Little Bit, but Knockout has to treat that wound. Now."

With that, he is running out of the sparring room while cradling me close to his chassis, leaving the few still present Vehicons to watch as the Spider laughed at her private thoughts as streaks of energon dried slowly against her armor.

* * *

"It doesn't make any sense."

"Knockout, can't we just take this as a good thing and not question it? I mean, Little Bit being immune to a little poison isn't exactly the weirdest thing that has happened in the past few days. Maybe it's because of her being part human."

The medic sighed as he continued to stare at the screen. "Breakdown, you and I have personally seen what that poison does to the average Cybertronian. And I have high doubts that her immunity has anything to do with her human half."

I sit on the spare berth as they talk and simply run my servos through the feathers of one of my wings that I have cocooned around me. Now that I was calm and _not_ craving to see Airachnid's energon spilt on the floor, which I was trying to still wrap my thoughts around, my razor wings had returned to their original soft and silvery feathers.

Knockout had cleaned the gash on my arm thoroughly and had begun to seal it, but I stopped him, saying that it was aching too much. He couldn't turn off the pain receptors without a risk of corroding the sensors in my arm.

But as a secretly begin to trace the painfully tender edges of the wound, hidden by my cocoon of my wings, I can't help but want the pain to stay.

"Does it have anything to do with her calling me an Aurial?" I suddenly ask.

Both the mechs flinch at my question. Then, a contemplative look passes over Knockout's face. "Actually, that might explain it…" Suddenly, he turns back to the screen and begins typing away at the keys.

I scowl and ask, "Well, are you going to _tell_ me what an Aurial is?"

Without looking back at me, Knockout responds, "Well, in short, _you_ are an Aurial. Airachnid as well." My jaw drops. "Since her poison is naturally made by her body, it might be a kind that Aurials are immune to. Or at least, they won't die from." He leans in the squint at the screen, and then he goes off on another typing tangent. "Aurilians are Cybertronians with special appendages, such as your wings or Airachnid's extra legs."

His typing finally slows before he presses one final key with a flourish and turns back to me. "We don't really know much about their subspecies. Only that they all seem to be female and occasionally appear in random spark births. The only really well known fact is that they were never sparked from the Well. They all come from a Carrier birth."

"A what now?" I ask.

"A lesson for another time," he responds offhandedly. "Now, are you calm enough to let me finish with your arm? The wound needs to be more properly treated or the armor and protoform will heal incorrectly. Not to mention the nasty scar." I roll my optics but offer him my arm without question. I already knew how serious he took my medical treatment.

As I flick my wings back behind me, though, our optics all catch on the same thing: three small, silvery feathers float lightly through the air before landing softly on the ground before me. We all stare for a moment, and then I yell with wide optics, "My feathers! They're falling out! Are my wings falling apart? Are they going to fall off? Knockout—"

"Easy," Breakdown says as he strides over to me and wraps a comforting arm around my shoulders. "You're probably just shedding some feathers."

At my confused look, Knockout explains. "While winged Aurilians were rare, as in, I don't think any even _existed_ during my life cycle, most Cybertronians heard stories of them, such as their feathers. They would constantly have to preen their wings to gather the loose feathers in order to keep up their abilities to fly with the wings."

Breakdown bent down and gently picked up the longest feather. "Lots of Cybertronians thought it was good luck to carry an Aurial feather. Since the Aurials often hid their feathers, they were near impossible to come by." He stared at it as a soft smile crossed his face. "Knew a guy back on Cybertron who had one. Kept it with him all the time. Luckiest fragger I've ever met."

I smiled at his thoughtful look. "Well, now you have one." He turns to me, clearly surprised by my statement, and I cross my arms and roll my optics. "Honestly, why would I need to keep a hidden horde of feathers? Go right ahead and take it."

Before Breakdown could continue, Knockout announced as he bent over and grabbed the others, "Well, since you don't mind, I'm going to take these two for study. I'm curious about what their genetic make up is like…" He straightens up and looks to me. "If you are going to go flying tomorrow, I suggest you start preening your wings between now and then so that you don't have any affecting your flight patterns."

I frown before sighing. Flipping one wing back around me, I say, "Well, this is gonna take a while…" Breakdown simply laughed at my pout as Knockout smiled and shook his helm, turning back to his workstation in order to analyze his new specimens.

I then slowly get off the medical berth and make my way towards the door, and as I start to slip out, I hear Knockout yell, "Scrap! Shadow, get back here!" I start to dart away, a mischievous smile on my face. "Frag it, femme! I still need to patch your slagging arm!"

* * *

**Okay, I know it's a bit of a simple chapter, but the filler is kind of needed. Things are going to heat up in the next chapter though, and it's going to go crazy from there. **

**Anyway, please, please, PLEASE, review! Any comments or concerns welcome!**


	6. Just Know

_**AUTHOR'S NOTE:**_

**So far, I'm keeping up my promise to update weekly! I finally have my chapter plans finalized, so now, all I have to do is write it all down.**

**So long as I don't change any plot ideas again…**

**Anyway, just a quick announcement! I finally have a _DeviantArt_ account! I only posted a few little things I've done, but I plan to post more after Christmas when some friends of mine open their presents. Right now, I have a fan art up for Graceful-Kuja's "It's Love?" and I'm working on a sketch of Everon/Shadow, but I can't seem to get happy with anything I do. I will have something up eventually!**

**Anyway, check out the link on my page!**

**And on to the story!**

* * *

"_Feeling solid  
__'Cause I have finally got my feet on the ground  
__Now You rescued me, You were gravity  
__I was upside down, down._

"_I've got a fire in my eyes  
__I'm burning brighter than the sunlight  
__You orchestrated my escape  
__Now I'm awake  
__I feel alive for the first time  
__You ignite the fire in my eyes._

"_Used to live my life  
__Locked up inside a room with no door before  
__You found a window, You broke it  
__And now I won't be contained anymore._

"_Oh, I know You are  
__The reason I can breathe  
__Oh, I know You are  
__The reason I am free."_

"_Fire in my Eyes", by Firelight_

* * *

"Rowback."

I don't turn around to face the voice. "What is it, Windglide?"

My fellow Vehicon moved to stand next to me, his gaze staying on the sight before us as does mine. "You know, you make it real hard to remember that you outrank most of us soldiers." The figure flying through the skies before us takes a twist in the air, and then dives straight down before settling into a glide after falling a few hundred feet in the air. "Then you pull something like that stunt on the bridge, and I realize how much of a leader you truly are."

I shake my helm. "Just made a suggestion, that's all."

"Yeah, in front of all of the other officers." The figure in the air made another twist and then a graceful arc. "You're lucky that she spoke up for you."

Though you couldn't see it behind our standardized masks, I smiled at the thought. "Our little princess turned out better than we ever could have imagined."

We were standing out on the flight deck watching said femme. Though Breakdown had claimed her combat training, her flight training fell to us. Our squadron members had been taking turns guiding her sessions, making sure for each of us to provide our perspective on flight as well as any tricks we have. I remembered her first flight. She had insisted on flying with me. Her excitement had her nearly bouncing as we headed up to the flight deck, her wings twitching in anticipation. Disregarding my trying to brief her on the basics of flight, she ran full speed and dove straight off the side of the ship, grinning all the way.

Later, after I had transformed and chased her down, she said that she wasn't sure why she had done that. She had just felt the sudden urge, the sudden need to fly. And fly she did. Never had I imagined she would take to it so instantaneously. Instinctively, she had known how to flex her wings, to angle them so to allow her control of her flight directions, and honestly?

I have never seen such joy on someone's first flight.

For the next few sessions, she had at least one guide, someone to either lead her through the air or to trail after her in case she found turbulence against the Earth winds. She never needed any help, even when she practiced in the storm just last night with Windglide and I. So, seeing her natural skill, we allowed her a solo flight today.

Under supervision, of course.

With a strong thrust of her wings, she shot straight upward, and upon reaching her highest point, she let her wings spread straight out to either side of her. As she did so, that mixed with her arms stretched above her head, one leg straight while the other tucked under her, the planet's native star illuminating her figure from behind: she looked… ethereal.

"An angel." I turned to glance briefly at Windglide, who in turn never took his gaze off of the femme. "On Earth, they would call her an angel. A holy being with feathered wings."

Just before I could comment, Shadow caught my attention again. Instead of returning to her flying pattern, she just… stopped. Her body gave way to free fall, and she slowly plummeted downwards. Windglide moved to go to her, as did most of the others on the deck, but I grabbed his shoulder and announced, "Wait." Everyone stopped, but I could tell that most questioned my decision.

Still in free fall, her wings limply wrapped around her as her body tilted backwards till she dropped helm first from high above the Nemesis. Suddenly, her wings spread out, and she leveled out to where she glided straight towards the upper platform of the massive ship.

I didn't notice that she was gliding straight towards me until her form barreled straight into me. Since she had been only gliding, the force of the impact was not enough to knock me over. Her arms locked around my neck as she happily laughed, the joy of flight still buzzing through her systems. When she pulled back, a spark-melting grin on her face, I couldn't help but laugh as well.

"Cutting that close, aren't you?" I ask. "You nearly had the entire flight deck come to your 'rescue'."

She rolled her optics and shook her helm, a happy smile still on her face. She released my neck and dropped to the ground, stepping back with a twirl. "Sorry, I just lost myself… The winds are perfect today!"

I laugh again, but more at the stares the other Vehicons were giving us then her personality. Though it had only been a few days, I was already used to her eccentric personality, as were the others. What I wasn't used to, however, was the fact that I had somehow become a close friend of the Decepticon princess. No one was used to it, hence the stares.

With a renewed grin, she linked arms with me as she did the first day we 'met'. "C'mon, I need to get my energon rations. _You_ can escort me." I shake my helm at her antics, but I follow just the same.

* * *

"How did you do it?"

I sigh. "How did I do what, exactly?"

Sharpshot scoffed. "How did you weasel your way into the princess' favors so quickly?"

I sigh again, shaking my helm. Sharpshot was one of my fellow commanding Vehicons. His squadron was ranked just below mine, though he believes that he should rank before mine. It's his arrogance in my opinion that disallows his squadron from advancing. "Honestly, I have no idea why she likes hanging out with me. I didn't plan it or something if that's what you are insinuating."

I didn't need to see his face to know that he was scowling. Living among so many Vehicons made us all experts at reading body language, a skill I had noticed in Shadow. She was very intuitive in emotions… "If all you want to do is harass me as usual, I going to go. I have somewhere I need to be."

Moving to carry away my empty energon cube, his arm shoots out to block my path. "Where are you going?"

"No where."

I could feel his optics narrow beneath his visor. He knew exactly who I was going to see. "The others are getting touchy about how close you two are… We aren't supposed to be close those of her rank. It just doesn't happen."

"You obviously don't know her if you think that she would follow the average social norms—"

"And you do? You _know_ her?"

"She does whatever she wants, and I doubt that she would ever worry about what someone else might think."

His stance tenses even more so. "Just keep what I said in mind."

With a nod, I push past his arm and go to drop off my cube. The entire time, I can feel the gaze of the others in the room following me. I don't care what they might think. Few were jealous of me: most just were in awe. Honestly, I was still in awe. Here I was, a simple soldier, and within a week, I have become a close friend to our _princess_, a princess we had mourned and thought to be dead, only to come back as a Cybertronian…

It was a lot to take in.

But the way she was so casual around me and any other Vehicon she encountered, I often forgot all the complications that surrounded our budding friendship. She was merely Shadow, not my Princess, just Shadow.

Heading towards the med bay, my thoughts drifted more towards the matter at hand. This was not a social visit. Because of the skill she had been displaying in her lessons, both in combat and flight, Starscream wanted to officialize her for fieldwork. Shadow had told me a few hours ago how Knockout was putting off clearing her as a medic, but unfortunately, I do not have the ability to hold off as the doctor could. So, I was going to meet Shadow and quiz her on her knowledge of our squadron's flight patterns as the last finalization of her basic Seeker training.

Whereas everyone else was trying to put off her involvement in the field as long as possible, Shadow had been practically bouncing with joy over the thought of being in the field. Not for the lust of battle, but for the need to help others in the field. I shook my helm. The femme's spark was too pure to be healthy in an atmosphere of war. I hope it doesn't crush her.

Reaching the med bay, I enter and find said femme staring intently at a screen before her. Without noticing I had entered, she announced, "Patient 3, 6, and 7 require minor treatment for blaster burns to their armor. They can be classified as level ones. 1 and 4 need energon line patches immediately, as does 2 and 5 but the wounds are minor: they can hold and or patch their own lines since the influx to the med bay pushes them back in the priority. 1 and 4: level 2 alpha. 2 and 5: level 2 beta."

She then stood straighter and traced her sharp servo over the screen. "The last two are the priority cases, both level threes. Patient 8 has a blast wound that has burnt through the lower abdominal regions and requires a Texeraction patch. Nine will require extreme attention and care, needing the same treatment, but his blast wound breaks through the spark chamber, making his spark fragile. He is level three alpha while the other is level 3 beta."

She turned off to the back of the med lab. "How'd I do?"

Knockout stepped forward. "Very good. You described the treatments perfectly. But you have one mistake." Shadow's face clouded with confusion as the medic continued. "Patient eight is merely a level three."

Shadow grew even more confused. "But I leveled them. Eight is a beta like 2 and 5: the others on their number levels take priority due to their more severe wounds—"

"But whereas with 1 and 4 being an alpha, nine, which you leveled an alpha, is unsalvageable." She looked ready to protest, but he held up a servo. "His chances are nearly nonexistent. You know I'm right. Don't risk the many to save the few." Her face was crestfallen. "I'm sorry, but you have to be clinical, especially if you plan to work in high casualty areas such as in the field."

"But how can I just give up on—"

"Shadow, we've talked about…" His gaze turned to me. "Can I _help_ you?"

The winged femme turned and saw me, her saddened face suddenly grinning. "Rowback! I take it you're here to quiz me?"

I move to speak, but Knockout's helm snaps to her and his arms cross over his chassis in an annoyed manner. "Aren't you forgetting something?" Her face was blank as she tilted her head to the side in a quizzical manner. Holding his helm in light frustration, he prompts, "Your armor, perhaps?"

Her large optics widened as her jaw dropped. Turning her helm back and forth between us for a minute, she then buried her face in her servos and groaned. Deciding to speak up, I say, "It's alright, I can come—"

"Don't. Move." She said suddenly. Lifting her helm to her mentor, she asked, "He cleared time for me in his schedule. Can he just quiz me while you patch and paint? You can put up a screen to block his view if you want."

Knockout's jaw clenched in contemplation, but with a sigh, he relented. Soon, a screen was set up, and the two were talking about how the armor patching and painting process works. "Honestly, you haven't even had this armor for two weeks, and you've already gotten your frame littered with dents and scratches."

She snorts. "Blame Airachnid."

"I know." I can hear a clanking noise, probably him trying to get out the dents. "How's the arm?"

"It's fine: didn't hurt that much." Knockout made a noise that suggested he didn't believe her, but she ignored him. Her next words sounded projected, and I realized that she was addressing me. "You want to start the Q and A?"

"Oh! Um, sure. I'm just going to call out a formation, and you tell me the directionality of your flight patterns relative to the other squadron members." I pull up a file on the data pad and scroll through the different patterns as to choose them at random. "Are you rea—"

"Pause!" I hear what sounded like Shadow hitting Knockout on the helm right after he interrupts me. "Watch the paint! And before you two get too involved in your _Seeker_ business…" I can hear her sigh at his disdain for Seekers, and I can't help but smile at the idea of her shaking her helm and scowling at the medic. "…we need to discuss _your_ paint. I'm thinking of—"

"Umm… I actually have a design idea already…" I can here her get off the med berth and scurry to the side before returning to him. "I'm… not sure if you will agree with the design but…"

"It looks like—"

"I know." She vented a sigh. Then, with an edge to her tone, she adds, "I want him to recognize me, to see himself in me every time we encounter one another, and I want him to regret ever letting me slip from his grasp. I want him to always remember the daughter he lost." She is quiet for a moment before speaking a softer voice. "He can't disassociate from a daughter who looks like him… I know my optics are silver in color, but I also can tell that they look like his, as does my face."

This time, Knockout vented a sigh. "I was hoping you wouldn't notice the similarities… If you are sure you can handle it, I'll do it. But the minute you want a different paint—"

"I'll come to you for your expertise," she interjected with a slight teasing tone.

By this point, I'm utterly confused. I decide to not say anything: I will see the final results soon enough. "Okay, Seeker," Knockout says as I hear him begin to test the paint sprayers. "Her audio receptors are all yours."

Clearing my vocal processors, I respond, "Okay… Let's see… Alright, here's the first question." For the next hour or so, I would call out a random formation, and in turn, Shadow would give me a play by play of her flight patterns down to the smallest tilt in direction. Occasionally, I would throw in a random scenario, and though her responses tended to be passive, they were suitable for a field medic.

Eventually, I declare that we were done. "Perfect timing," Knockout announces. "I'm done as well. And _you_ get to be the first to see my final work." The medic steps around the screen, a smug look on his face. With an exaggerated voice and a flourish of his servos, he proclaims, "May I present to you, your new and improved Princess Shadow Tronus."

"Honestly Knockout. Is the formality necessary?" I can hear her move to walk out around the screen. "And I thought we had done away with the whole 'Princess' title."

Shock overcomes my frame as I look at _her_ frame, and Knockout responds without even noticing my reaction. "Just because you say your some common soldier, field medic, or whatever. Still, you cannot simply deny that you _are_ Megatron's daughter." She merely rolled her optics as I continued to stare.

The paint was far from what I expected. Her armor was majorly a dark, crimson red, a shade I suspected to have come from Knockout's private stash. Shockingly, her chosen details were not only an ebony black edging, but also a deep midnight blue that covered her pedes and the center of her chassis. The frame around her face was black with a red Decepticon symbol upon the top center of the frame like the center of her chassis, and the rest of her helm was red and blue with black detailing. To complete the look, her optics had been edged in black, and they flared on the edges, creating even more allure to her captivating, silvery optics.

The paint made her look even more like the Autobot leader, Optimus Prime.

The only real difference is that the black edging and the sharp armor angles made her look more dangerous. That and she was a femme. But I kept being drawn to her face, and I couldn't help but recognize what she meant by having 'his' face and optics. She may have inherited Megatron's gladiator stylized armor and fierce combative nature, but she gained Optimus' looks and caring demeanor.

Her helm tilted to the side as she looked at me with a concerned gaze. "Are you alright, Rowback?"

I jump, and then I quickly respond, "Oh! Umm… I'm fine! Just fine."

Knockout shakes his helm and sighs, but a smirk is still present on his face. "You should expect that, little sister. You were right about it accentuating how much you look like him." He then reaches over and pulls her into a close hug before kissing the top of her helm, a habit I remember from when she was a little human sparkling that the all of the officers sans Starscream would carry everywhere. She was far from that little sparkling now.

"I know. I wanted this: I can handle it." Her gaze was steady, her shoulders squared, and I could sense the determination rolling off of her in waves. Knockout vented a sigh, and then he did something I've never seen him do before: he smiled. Not some cruel, sinister smile, but a true, kind one. She returned the gesture before hugging him back and kissing his faceplate. Then, she released the hug and turned towards me. "Want to come with me to show off the new paint?"

Before I can answer, she has linked her arm with mine and was leading me from the med bay. Knockout stuck his helm out after us. "If you scratch that paint, I will lock you in an empty storage locker!"

Without looking back, she yells, "No you won't!"

"Don't try me!" But we could all tell from his tone that he could never lock up the innocent Aurial who musically laughed as she towed me through the halls.

* * *

We were all talking and laughing, enjoying our down time in between one of the shifts. It was nice, one of those simple moments that you look on and can't help but lightly smile at. That's when the call over our comm links came.

"_D38TS-7's squadron, report to the ground bridge station immediately. Autobot activity requires immediate action."_

We all tense. All of my squadron's optics fall on me. Treetop speaks up. "It's so soon… She was only cleared a few hours ago…"

I vent out a sigh. "There's nothing we can do but take her with us." Looking around at the group before me, I say in a serious tone, "But, we will ensure that nothing happens to her, and she stays out of the line of fire. Whether she wants to be or not, she is our princess…" I stand tall and sure as they all watch me. "And we will do whatever it takes to keep her safe."

They all stoically nod in agreement before rising with me, determination in their stances as with me. Quickly, we file out of the room in a tight, rowed formation as was drilled into us during our early years of training. Sprinting down the halls, we reach the ground bridge within short time. As we enter the room, I realize that Shadow is already there.

Her wings are tense, twitching on her back, while her silver optics glinted in the dim lighting while an excited grin grew on her face. Looking to me, she was practically bouncing in excitement. "C'mon! We need to move! Knockout and Breakdown are already there getting all the fun!"

As the ground bridge opened, I approach her quickly and grab her arm. Normally, I would never initiate contact with her, but I just needed to make sure she understood the gravity of the situation. As her helm whips around to face me, shock evident on her features, I say, "Remember: you are medic first, soldier second. Avoid the Autobots at all costs. I don't want them to hurt you."

A smile forms on her face, and then out of nowhere, she hugs me. "Thank you." Pulling back, she adds, "For being such a good friend."

I was so glad that my blush couldn't be seen behind my visor.

Clearing my voice processor, I say, "Well, umm… Everyone! Move out!"

Shadow laughed at my stumbling with the words, but she fell into place to Quickflip in the back of the group. I merged in the front with Windglide as we ran through the portal, jumping through to the open air before us. Transforming, we head straight for the nearby mountain, one which housed an important energon mine.

"_Maintain standard formation till we hit the hot zone!"_ I announce over the comm. _"Quickflip, help Shadow find the injured below and cover her while she treats the others. The rest of us shall head off the enemy and try to push them back. Am I clear?"_

A chorus of _"Sir, yes sir!"_ met my audio receptors in response to my directions.

Satisfied, I yell, _"Then let's go take out some Autobots!"_ A few excited cheers holler over the comms as I lead our dive downward, including Shadow's musical laughter.

I wish I could say that I kept track of my friend, that I was knew where she was at all times to help better protect her, but the Autobots were out for our sparks today. Pent up anger was evident in their brutal fighting styles, and the number of injuries skyrocketed. Occasionally I would see a flash of silver from her wings, but she would be gone, finding the injury that was hidden behind a random rock or something.

My CPU kept flashing the number of injuries. Shadow had a huge stash of them back under a rock outcropping, and we had just reached the same number of injuries or deaths as those we had left to fight. And sadly, some of the fighters were injuries that Shadow had patched, and they insisted on fighting again.

Eventually, though, I could see shock and confusion shoot through the Autobot ranks. I heard someone scream out 'Everon,' and I knew that they had finally recognized her. Then, the owner of the voice, the Wrecker I believe to be named Wheeljack, went flying into a cliff face, courtesy of our new field medic.

I finally saw her, and she stood in a low crouch, a pair of unfamiliar daggers in her servos while she threateningly growled in the Wrecker's direction. Unfortunately, she couldn't see the Cybertronian femme approach her from the side.

I couldn't shoot the Autobot from this angle. All I could do is what was instinctive for me. I shifted, taking off at full speed, transforming just in time to stand between Shadow and the shot.

I heard her scream. A dagger shot flew over my form on the ground, followed by a pained cry, before it flew back to Shadow's servo as she crouched next to me. "Rowback?! Rowback, stay with me!" Her servos began to move to my chassis, and I knew she was patching some wound in my lower abdomen.

"How…how do…. do you know?"

Her helm doesn't turn from my chassis as she focuses more on my wound. "What do you mean?"

"How can you tell… me apart from… the others? You could always…" I gasp in pain. "…tell…"

I could tell she was borderline hysterical right now. "I… at first, it was the scar, the one on the side of your helm… but now, I just… I just know you. You're my best friend. I just _know_ you."

My processor is spinning as her gaze suddenly snaps to the side. "Knockout!" she yells in utter agony. Hysteria grows, and her frame began to shake. "I can't… I can't—" She suddenly spins up, dagger in hand and screams, "Don't you dare touch him! Don't take another step closer!"

I wanted to help her. I felt so useless here on the ground. I couldn't even see who had approached her. But, I had no more strength in me. My systems cried for recharge, so I listened, slipping from consciousness as Shadow turned back to my frame and screamed for me to stay awake.

My last thought is of her words, ones that kept running through my processor.

_I just know you._

_I just know you._

_I just know you._

She will never know how much those words meant to me.

* * *

**And the end to another chapter! So, please let me know what you think! This one took me a while for some reason, so i hope it turned out well.**

**Also, I might be posting a chapter to _Silver Eyes and Lullabies_ on Christmas Eve or Day. If I get the time… Hopefully I do! But anyway, next week's chapter will probably be a long chapter, so cross your fingers that I get it done!**


	7. Care

**_Author's Notes:_**

**I don't know if this is a big deal, but I'm excited about this: _Of Hope and Destruction _broke 5,000 views this week! XD**

* * *

_I love the way that your heart breaks  
__With every injustice and deadly fate  
__Praying it all will be new  
__And living like it all depends on you_

_Here you are down on your knees again  
__Trying to find air to breathe again  
__And only surrender will help you now  
__ love you please see and believe again_

_Love that you're never satisfied  
__With face value wisdom and happy lies  
__You take what they say and go back and cry  
__You're so close to me that you nearly died_

_Here you are down on your knees again  
__Trying to find air to breathe again  
__And only surrender will help you now  
__I love you please see and believe again_

_They don't have to understand you  
__Be still  
__Wait and know I understand you  
__Be still  
__Be still  
__Here you are down on your knees again  
__Trying to find air to breathe again  
__And only surrender will help you now  
__The floodgates are breaking and pouring out_

_Here you are down on your knees  
__Trying to find air to breathe  
__Right where I want you to be again  
__I love you please see and believe again_

_Here you are down on your knees again  
__Trying to find air to breathe again  
__Right where I want you to be again  
__See and believe!_

_"Again," by Flyleaf_

* * *

The room was so quiet besides the steady beeping of the spark monitor. I watched as my father's chest slowly rose and fell, aware of every movement he made where he probably didn't even know I was here. I had been on the Nemesis since my revival, which had been a few weeks ago, and this is the first time I had been able to approach him. I still felt guilty for his condition, for siding with the Autobots during the time when he was injured.

I vent out a shaky breath. Taking one last glance at his spiking brain waves, I finally steel away enough nerve to speak. "Um… Hey, Daddy. It's me. Or well, whatever me I am now."

Shifting against the adjacent counter I was leaning against, I continue. "You probably don't understand what I mean. You can't see me, so you can't know. Breakdown says my voice sounds the same. Tried prompting me into singing, but… I don't remember any songs. All I remember is… well random things." A small smile grace my face. "Knockout said I can learn them again, and I've learned a few." The smile fell again. "Oh, Knockout…"

My helm hung low as my frame shook lightly, my vocalizers trying futilely to mimic the weak human habit of crying when in pain. "Poor Knockout… Poor Rowback…" Another sob rocked my frame again. "I don't deserve them. I don't deserve the following of this ship, of my position. But Daddy, I don't really have a choice, do I?"

With a shaky breath, I say, "Please wake up soon. We _need_ you. We need our leader. They need their Lord Megatron. And I need my Daddy." No response from the comatose mech. Not that I expected one. I vent a sigh as my optics harden. "Till you wake, I swear upon my spark to watch over this ship and everyone aboard. I will make up for my betrayal. I will make you proud."

With that said, I stand from my position leaning against the counter and stride to a nearby computer panel. I pull up plans Knockout had been working on for me. He was still developing them and trying his hardest into talking me out of the upgrades. Recent events had only solidified my desire for these upgrades. Examining the work, I realize that Knockout had been farther along in the development than he had let on. _Overprotective fragger…_ I think affectionately, a faint smirk on my features.

After adding a few tweaks of my own, I start to pull out various tools and supplies to start work on building the devices. As I begin to prepare a few components, a message from Soundwave pops up on the computer before me. _:Are you sure about this?: _I look up to a nearby camera and simply nod my head once, and he does not send me any more messages.

Components ready, I open a compartment on my right arm and pick up an electrical solder with my left. As I begin to rewire the circuitry, I let the events of the past few hours replay through my mind.

* * *

"What does this do?"

"Don't touch that."

"How about this one?"

"Don't touch that one, either."

"Can I touch this?"

"No."

I groan in exasperation while Breakdown grins at Knockout and I. "Is there _anything_ in here I can touch?"

"Just yourself and the floor." Breakdown bursts out laughing at that one, grabbing a nearby counter for support as he bends and clutches his gut.

Frowning as my optic ridges scrunch together, I say, "I don't get it."

Breakdown looks to Knockout with a cheeky grin and responds, "We are such bad influences."

"I haven't the faintest clue as to _what_ you are referring to, Breakdown. _I _happen to be the perfect influence as her big brother."

"_You're_ the reason why she swears so much."

"Frag you."

"Ahem!" I say loudly as I cross my arms over my chassis. "Hate to interrupt you bromance bonding over my naivety to whatever in the Pit you were talking about, but how about we focus on the matter at hand? As in, finding me a weapon?" My gaze circles the armory vault as I slowly turn and hold my arms in the air. "Which, by the way, is going _nowhere_ since _someone_ won't let me even _touch_ a weapon let alone test it!"

Knockout crosses his arms and glares. "Some of these weapons are very dangerous, Shadow. You need to be care—"

"Yeah, like that little stun gun back there was _so_ dangerous."

"Shadow—"

"Would be careful about that kind of weapon, Little Bit," Breakdown says as he casually leans against the wall. "Knockout is overly fond of his little stun gun—"

"Energon Prod!—"

"Alright, alright!" Breakdown says, holding his servos up in mock surrender as Knockout glared at him. As the medic calmed and turned to speak to me again, Breakdown adds, "Glorified stun gun _on a stick_."

I burst out laughing as Knockout smacked Breakdown on the helm and began to berate the large mech as he continued to repeatedly smack him.

Once those two had settled again, we began to resume our search of the perfect weapon for me. "Too bad we don't have a hammer or something for ya," Breakdown said. "Then you could be like a mini me!"

I snort. "As amusing as that might be, a hammer might be counterproductive to my fighting style. Besides, between me taking off mannerisms from you two _and_ having a red and blue paint job, if you two start fitting me with your weapons, the Autobots might think I'm your secret love child or something."

Both of the mechs shared a horrified look as I grinned evilly. Knockout was the first to find his voice. "No… Just… Just no."

I snort. "It's not like you two could have a kid." I go back to scanning the various weapons. "I mean, your both males."

The two share a look, and Breakdown sighed. "Leave it to the Autobots to only give her the human talk…"

With a scowl, Knockout adds, "Well, it's not like it really mattered for her till recently to know. I mean, can you blame them for not wanting to explain to her?"

"Explain what?" I ask. Before the two nervous looking mechs have to answer me, something catches my attention. "What's this?"

Before Knockout can tell me not to touch it, I snatch up the pair of daggers on the nearby shelf in my servos. "Shadow—" Knockout starts warningly.

"Oh, calm down," I say sharply. "It's not like I'm gonna stab myself—" As I say this, I throw my servos to my sides, and I unintentionally hit the table next to me. The result are these cuff looking devices falling to the ground, and as they hit the floor, the daggers feel like they are pulled straight from my servos to stick right in the ground next to the cuffs. I stare, optics wide, and say, "Okay… Maybe I _shouldn't_ touch anything…"

Knockout sighs as he walks forward to pull the daggers from the ground. "The daggers are magnetically linked to the cuffs. Throw a dagger and pull back the adjacent arm, and the magnetic pull will bring back that dagger." He looked over the daggers as he continued to speak. "Unfortunately, they are small and ineffective for the use of most mechs and not quite large enough for kill shots unless you accurately hit the right place."

He handed me the daggers, and I looked them over. "Well, they are sized perfectly for me, and I'm not really going to need to be able to take kill shots. I'm a medic."

Breakdown chuckled to himself. "Yeah, and your mentor has rotary blades in his servos."

My helm snaps to Knockout. "Wait, seriously? I never thought you would go with something so messy." As a feral smirk grew on his face, I cut him off before he could continue. "I don't even want to know." I held up the daggers. "So, can I keep them?"

Before my mentor could protest, Breakdown announced, "Let her have it, KO! It's either the daggers or that sniper rifle, and I think we can all agree that the daggers are a better fit." I flash Breakdown a grateful look, which he returns with a satisfied smirk.

"Well… I guess it will be fine."

"Perfect!" I announce as I slip the cuffs on my wrists, marveling at the perfect fit. As I attach the sheaths to my hip plates, I continue. "Now, before you two go and examine those mines, does one of you want to explain what the 'talk' is?"

"La, la, la! Not listening!" Breakdown announced as he covered his audio receptors as he headed to the door. "Knockout, you can have the honors of explaining _that_." After hearing his tone, I turned to my mentor that had an evil looking smirk on his face.

Less than five minutes of the 'talk' had me running from my chuckling mentor as Breakdown had.

* * *

Soon after, Breakdown and Knockout left to go examine a mine. I was on soldier standby duty right then, and I had to stay behind. The med lab had been empty, and one can only organize and straighten up so many times.

Boredom is what led me to the bridge. I had few opportunities to interact with Soundwave, and I had wanted to see if I could coax out his rarely heard voice. Unfortunately, it appeared as if he reserved his voice for _rare_ occasions, today not being one of them. My incessant chatter was met with gestures of his long, talon like digits pointing out certain data on the screen before him or a playback of my own voice. Apparently I was interrupting his work, but rather than signal for me to leave, he turned on overhead speakers to play music.

As far as distractions go, Soundwave picked a pretty good one.

Hips swaying and wings flaring, I lost myself into the song, one of the many I had been introduced to in recent weeks. Well, reintroduced to apparently. The songs had vague references in my mind, so they sort of came naturally to me, much to the amusement of anyone within listening range.

"Darling, you got to let me know," I sang out. "Should I stay or should I go!" With a grin, I spun between song lines before posing. "If, you say that you are mine…" My hips flick to the side as I end the word with a jump note. "I'll be here till the end of time." I bent to the flow and slowly rose as I sung the next line. "So, come on and let me know…" A sudden jolt of movement into another pose. "Should I stay or should I go!"

Slowly, in a mock dangerous and flirtatious movement, I stalk down the bridge walkway. "Your decision's bugging me. If you don't want me, set me free." I pause and dip low with the next line. "Exactly who I'm supposed to be…"

My next words are cut off by the blaring of an alarm. Raising an optic ridge, I quickly approach Soundwave to see what is wrong. Unfortunately for me, the alarm not only interrupted my song but also brought my _favorite_ seeker. "Soundwave," he addressed. "What is going on?"

He quickly reached the monitor and practically shoved me out to the way. Between the two huddled about the screen, I couldn't see anything. So, in order to gain a better view, I simply reached up to Soundwave's shoulders and pull myself up, wrapping my legs around his waist and my arms about his neck while resting my chin on his shoulder. He didn't turn to acknowledge me, but one of his tentacles that I wasn't blocking retracted and stroked my helm a bit before returning to it's place while Soundwave never faltered in his typing.

Rolling his optics at me, Starscream asked, "Well? Why are the alarms going off?"

In response, Soundwave pulled up the location of one of our larger mining operations, it flashing a bright red on the projected screen. I felt my spark tighten as I gain recognition of the location. "That's the mine Knockout and Breakdown were examining…"

Looking to Soundwave, Starscream orders, "Contact Knockout via the comm link."

Without even a nod, Soundwave opens a channel. _"I'm a little busy right— Hey! Watch the paint, Autobot!"_

My spark thrummed quickly as Starscream asked, "Knockout, what's going on?"

_"What does it sound like?!"_ Knockout snapped in response. _"We're taking heavy fire from the Autobots. I think they are all here: I even saw their elusive medic. And they aren't in a very good mood…"_

"What do you mean?" Starscream prompted.

_"It means that if you don't send backup soon, you will lose this mine and any Decepticon here."_ My entire body tensed at the thought of losing not only all of those Vehicons, but also my brothers.

After a pause, Starscream responded, "Very well. We shall send you support." Knockout made a grunt of approval, but then Starscream continued. "I shall send you D38T5-7's Seeker squadron." Before Knockout could protest, Starscream cut the line and turned to the now tense Soundwave as I dropped silently to the ground. "Contact the rest of Shadow's squadron, and tell them to report to the ground bridge station."

He then turned to me, and trying to maintain formality, I respond, "I shall meet them there, Lord Starscream."

With a smirk, he nods and responds, "Very good. And do come back safe, my dear."

I tense at the endearment, one that I had a strong aversion to. He knew this fact, and in the short time I had come to integrate myself into the crew, he made it a point to address me this way. With a blank tone, I simply state, "Let's just drop the formalities, because we both know that you want the exact opposite to happen." With that said, I turn and stalk away, wings flexing against my back as I went to find my friend and his squadron.

My squadron.

* * *

"Shadow!" I grunt in acknowledgment to Knockout who had dropped beside me. "What are you doing? You shouldn't be in the middle of the battle! You're—"

"Supposed to be tending the wounded," I respond. "What do you think I'm doing?" I never take my optics off of the Vehicon before me, the one with a damaged shoulder from a blaster shot. "All the patients are out in the field, and you can't expect them all to be able to make it back to our triage cave."

He vents an exasperated sigh. "You are going to get yourself shot! You shouldn't be this far out into the battle."

I ignore him and look up to the Vehicon's visored face. "Okay, Mudkiss, I want you to take it easy. Head back to triage and wait for evac." He was about to protest, but I continued. "They could use another guard, and your other arm is still okay to shoot." With a nod, he stood and left.

I look to my mentor. "You can scold me for being reckless later, but I'm not engaging the Autobots, just treating the wounded." That's when Quickflip commed me the number of Vehicons we had accumulated in the makeshift triage area we had set up in a cave, and I couldn't help but grimace. "Slag it to the Pit. We need to evac them, now. I'm contacting the Nemesis."

I met Knockout's optics, and he nodded. With a swift kiss to my helm, he said, "Be careful, little sister. I'll help them hold the line. You handle our patients." Pulling his energon prod from his subspace, he gave it a quick spin in the air before heading off into the battle.

Returning to the issue before me, I open a comm to the warship. "This is Shadow to the Nemesis. Come in. We need to evacuate our wounded and then the rest of the men. This battle is lost."

I may not have been fighting, but I can see a lost fight when I'm faced with one. The Autobots were angry. Their fighting today matched nothing like I had heard of from encounters of older battles. Their moves, their strategies, everything was more… vicious than I had anticipated.

The Nemesis finally responded, and Starscream's shrilly voice filled my audio receptors, a sound that made blaster shots preferable. _"I'm _so_ sorry, my dear, but opening a ground bridge at this time might threaten the integrity of the ship. We wouldn't want the Autobots to get onboard, now would we?"_

I felt rage seep into my veins. "Look, Screamer, don't condemn these soldiers because you want me dead. They are _your_ soldiers. It's _your_ job to protect them."

_"Do not think that I won't be sad over this turn of events. The ones who don't make it through will surely be missed—"_

"You no good, vile fragger! I—This isn't up for debate! Open the slagging portal or—" I didn't have the opportunity to finish the threat, ducking and rolling to the side just as a long katana flew over my helm from beside. Ending up sitting on my aft, my gaze darts up to the mech before me.

He was purely white, save for green and red stripes on his chassis. His helm was of an unusual shape, and he wielded a long, dangerous looking katana in each hand. But, the most fearsome part was his optics. Staring back at me were the most intense looking optics I had ever seen. They held a deep seeded anger, one that I don't think was specifically directed at the Decepticons. This battle, I realized, was for the Autobots to vent their anger, their sadness towards whatever had happened to make them this way.

But, the look didn't last long. Replaced by confusion and then spark aching sadness, his gaze stayed locked on my own, staring into my optics as if he was staring into my very soul.

Then, in a broken and unsure voice, he whispered, "Ev?" I slowly stood, staring at the mech who wasn't listed in the normal grouping of the Earth bound Autobots. Then, catching me off guard, he rushed forward, yelling out my Autobot name. "Everon!" And soon, I found myself pinned to the cliff face behind me.

Then, to my shock, he kissed me.

I hate to admit it, but I didn't respond until he pulled back from the kiss. I was too shocked, too confused. Though his move towards me was sudden, and his pinning me was rough, his kiss… It was soft, and it was tender, as if he were afraid I would break from the kiss. It was… loving.

After breaking the kiss, he rested his helm against mine, a feat only possible because he had my shorter frame lifted from the ground as he pinned me. My spark thrummed dangerously fast, and it wasn't until he mumbled, "Everon…." That I realized what was going on.

Using my wings to push myself off of the wall, I punched the offending Autobot. After he staggered back a few steps, a confused look on his face yet again, I dart forward and behind him, sharply kicking the back of one of his knee joints. Then, as he staggers forward, I grab his arm and use my wings to give me the momentum to spin him before throwing him into the nearby cliff face.

Landing in a low crouch, I growl towards the offending mech. How dare he? What gave him the right to just grab me like that… And why the frag did I wish he hadn't pulled away…

Before I could contemplate this further, a blur darted next to me, transforming before I heard the telltale sound of a blaster shot hitting metal. Spinning to see who was hit, I watch as my friend, as Rowback, falls to the ground, a shot straight through his chest. My scream had no words, just pure emotion.

I look to where a femme, the blue two-wheeler known as Arcee, stood off to the side, blaster still pointed. With a flash of movement, I had unsheathed a dagger and threw it with stunning accuracy straight into her shoulder. Pulling my arm back, the magnetic cuffs recalled the dagger to me, and I grab it and sheath it as I slide to the ground next to Rowback.

"Rowback?! Rowback, stay with me!" I plead as I set to work on the wound. The blast had damaged his spark chamber, and he was in a fragile critical condition.

I worked quickly, trying to calm my shaking servos but failing miserably. In the middle of my work, he asks, "How…how do…. do you know?"

Without stopping, I respond, "What do you mean?"

"How can you tell… me apart from… the others? You could always…" He gasped in pain. "…tell…"

I wanted nothing more to cry right now. But, as I have to remind myself, that is a human trait. You can't cry no matter how much you want to. Besides, he needs you now: you need to focus. "I… at first, it was the scar, the one on the side of your helm… but now, I just… I just know you. You're my best friend. I just _know_ you."

The procedures I was trying weren't working: His spark had been damaged along with his spark chamber, and I can't stop my thoughts from drifting to his medical leveling, one that made my spark ache. As if things couldn't get worse, I hear a familiar cry, and I watch as my mentor, my brother, falls clutching his lower abdomen, Breakdown doing his best to hold off a yellow and a green Autobot. "Knockout!"

"I can't… I can't—" I choke out. That's when I heard movement behind me. Spinning up to my feet, daggers in my servos, I snap, "Don't you dare touch him! Don't take another step closer!"

I'm met by the steady gaze of two different mechs. The smaller was clearly their medic, Ratchet, who held his servos up to me in a calming gesture. "I'm just checking on our soldiers. We aren't here to hurt you." He then moves to the downed Arcee who was leaking energon from her shoulder wound.

The taller one was the one who kept my gaze. My silver optics locked with his bright blue ones. "Everon… you are alive…"

I bark out a hollow laugh, closing my optics and shaking my helm. "No thanks to _you_." Opening my optics again to glare defiantly, back straight and tall, wings tensed, I stiffly say, "My name isn't _Everon_." I say the name as if it were a disgusting curse. Thoughts drifting to Rowback, I think of his leveling, of what I have to resort to because of these Autobots.

I think of how he was unsalvageable.

With as much venom as I could muster, I spat out, "I'm not your _pathetic_ little daughter. I am Shadow, daughter and heir of the Great Lord Megatron. And you shall pay for what transpired today." With that, I threw my daggers at the tall mech, not waiting to see his reaction.

Ducking next to my unconscious friend, I whisper, "I'm sorry." Then, I reach into his open wound, grabbing a specific wire attached to his spark, and I pulled before watching the light in his chassis from his spark slowly fade away. This death would be quicker than if I had just left his wounds to slowly kill him. Placing a quick kiss to side of his helm, right where the long scar was, I stood and recalled the daggers that I had embedded in the sensitive wiring of the Prime, of the mech whom I once considered my father.

Darting off to Knockout and Breakdown's position's I try the Nemesis one more time. "Starscream, open those ground bridges, now!"

An exasperated sigh is the response. _"I'm sorry, but I already denied your request once, my dear—"_

Crying out in frustration, I reached the two Autobots bombarding Breakdown, and I darted straight to the yellow mech known as Bumblebee. I stab him right in the knee and immediately withdraw the dagger from the knee, not pausing as he cries out. Locking my grip on his arm, I throw him to the side, leaving Breakdown to handle the giant green mech while I slide next to Knockout.

"Fine!" I snap. "You give me no choice Starscream: I'm declaring you unfit for your position."

_"Wait… What?! You can't do that!"_

I focus on Knockout's wound, which wasn't nearly as bad as…. Rowback's… but it was still critical. "As the true Decepticon heir, I can. I hereby am stepping into the position as temporary leader. Soundwave, please, open a ground bridge to both my position and Quickflip's. Knockout is injured with me, and Quickflip is in charge of guarding the other wounded."

My response is a ground bridge immediately opening behind me, and I decide to add, "And could you escort Starscream to a holding cell in the brig till further notice. He will be seen to for risking the lives of crew members." I can hear Starscream's protests, but I cut the comm, sure that Soundwave will handle the situation.

Watching as Breakdown tosses the Bulkhead mech to the side, he jogs over to me. "Is he going to be okay?"

I nod. "He's stable. Get him to the ship and start organizing the placement of the rest of the wounded. I will cover you."

"Little Bit…"

I glare. "This isn't up for discussion. Now move! They are still too stunned over my presence to hurt me. I will follow soon." I'm already drawing my daggers and moving away as I finish the order.

Soon, I'm surrounded by a few of the not as heavily damaged Autobot mechs. Growling, I crouch as the white mech from earlier starts to step forward. "Ev—"

"Not. Another. Step." I feel a familiar sensation through my wings, feeling them shift to razors, and I watch as all of their optics widen in shock. A feral grin crossing my face, I darkly state, "Rowback."

All equally looking confused, Bulkhead asks, "What?... Come on, kid. You're confused. Let us help you—"

"His name." I snap, pointing to the side, to my fallen friend near the now standing Prime. "His name was Rowback. He was _my friend_. And _you_ made him unsalvageable. You made me make that call. For that, you all will _pay_."

Lunging forward, I cried out an animalistic yell. My spark ached, and the pain… fueled me. It pushed me forward, made me want to be crueler. Made me want them to hurt.

I kick the white one's katanas from his servos before kicking him in the jaw as I flipped back. Still in motion, I pushed forward to tackle him to the ground. Darting off, I take my daggers and expertly throw them to the sensitive wiring of the large green mech's side. Though it didn't cause much pain, I knew it had to have been painful to have such sensitive nerves hit.

Recalling the daggers, I hear someone approach from behind. I spin to meet the stare of none other than Optimus Prime. Cautiously, he tries to reason with me. "Child, please, we do not want to harm you—"

"Then you should have thought of that before you hurt Rowback," I growled.

With sad optics, he said, "I'm sorry… we were unaware he was your friend—"

"Don't pretend like you care!" I snap. "He was just another Vehicon to you! You don't care about who they are! You don't care! _You don't care!_"

The Prime's optics hardened as he said, "You may say many things about me, but one thing you can never say is that I don't care."

He strode towards me, but I stood my ground. "Apparently you don't care enough to keep your only sparkling from being tortured to death." His optics widened before turning immensely sad. Part of me was mad at myself for such a low blow, but I couldn't help it. Staring him down, my gaze harsh and critical, I continued. "You know, I can't remember you. I can't remember my childhood, my life. All I can remember is glimpses.

"I remember pain the best. Both physical and emotional. But what they did to me… it's the clearest flashes. The cuts along my arms, the electricity surging through my body, the beatings… All because I was protecting _you_. I could have told them where you all were, but I didn't. I spared you, and I lost my life."

My frame is shaking with anger and resentment. His optics were pained, and my spark ached from his pain, but the loss of my friend was worse. "I am now leading the Decepticons," I declare. "This is the one word of warning I am giving you: stay out of my way, because as of now, you are not my family. You are just the enemy."

With that, I spread my wings and took to the skies, not sparing a glance back to the Autobots below.

I wish I didn't care.

* * *

**Alright… I know that was a bit of a harsh chapter, but I tried to work in the center part to help balance it out. After the next chapter, the rest will start to get better for a little while, I promise! But I need the harshness for a reason.**

**So, tell me what you think of Shadow! Her personality should be better developing by this point. Reviews are lovely!**

**And let me know if you are confused by anything at all. Sometimes my brain doesn't process how weak my explanations are...**


	8. Of Partners and Loss

_**Author's Notes:**_

**Okay! Barely got this chapter done on time. So much for stockpiling this break… Anyway, this one is a bit shorter then my normal chapters, but I felt it was a necessary filler.**

**Also! I have a quick sketch of Shadow on my DeviantArt page! I intend to make a better picture soon. Also, StoryLady35 commissioned to have someone on DeviantArt make my character! This one is technically named Nightmare, an off personality I had considered before simplifying to just Shadow. Nightmare is more… unstable.**

**Also, I got bored, so… I made Shadow into an MLP Pony. I actually kind of like how it turned out. Anyway, the link to my DeviantArt account is on my profile! Please check it out!**

**On to the story!**

* * *

_Yeah, you're lookin' tired and broken  
__Like the pillar of a dock, dead sitting  
__The water hitting you, but never breaking through  
__Is "going places" getting somewhere now?  
__You should be running faster or down days will shatter you,  
__Talking on what's overdue_

_Let me ask you once and not again,  
__Are we half asleep or walking dead?  
__Let me tell you how the times have changed  
__The wasteland isn't just for the teenaged_

_You look so together, slightly disheveled like the free spirit that you are  
__It's so impressive, doing what's done by few, living your life in bloom  
__Might feel like the wait staff on the midnight train  
__You've got your heart in your pocket, heavier than river rocks  
__How slow till it's full stop?_

_Let me ask you once and not again,  
__Are we half asleep or walking dead?  
__Let me tell you how the times have changed  
__The wasteland isn't just for the teenaged_

_Ginny eyes, is this my exciting life?  
__Or just a lie, 'cause the borderline gets thinner  
__(Between here) Between here and that small town  
__I can't outrun it on  
__Bottled wind_

_Bottled wind  
__I can't outrun it on  
__Bottled wind_

_It's only  
__It's only worth what's usin' it_

_Yeaaaah!_

_So let me ask you once and not again,  
__Are we half asleep or walking dead?  
__Let me tell you how the times have changed (Let me tell you how the times have changed)  
__The wasteland isn't just for the teenaged  
__I'll tell it and be done,  
__Swimming is how sinking isn't sunk_

"_Bottled Wind" by Polar Bear Club_

* * *

My grip on my injured shoulder was tight. Too tight. But I didn't care. Today had been… I don't even know how to describe it. With the way things have been going, it's a wonder that we are still sane. But based on how depressed the mood around the base had become, some of us might go over the edge soon.

First Cliffjumper's death.

Then Everon's decline.

Her death.

And finally, the rise of Shadow.

I could see bits of Everon in her. The pain in my shoulder from her dagger had me down for her involvement in the fight, but I could see bits of her, clouded by the pain of loss and betrayal. I never thought I could regret killing a Vehicon, but I think I could in this instant.

When I aimed for Shadow, I hadn't seen her optics yet. I had just appeared in time to see Wheeljack get the slag kicked out of him by an Aurilian. The femme made me think of Airachnid, and though it was unfair to judge her based on her race, I couldn't help it. It made me willing to take a cheap shot, to shoot her in the back.

But then that Primus slagged Vehicon jumped in the way. I guess I couldn't blame him. Everon had always been easy to like. She was strong and caring, but she had a general air about her that personified innocence, and you wanted nothing more than to protect her. And because of that, the Vehicon in question lost his life.

The pain and the anger in her eyes… well, optics now. How did that even happen? Did she not really die when MECH tortured her? What in the frag is going on?

Apparently I wasn't the only one who was confused.

"What just happened?" Bulkhead asked as he helped Bumblebee to his pedes. The poor kid had taken a dagger to the knee, and Ratchet was going to have his work cut out for him between Bee and the rest of us.

I gripped my shoulder wound tighter as I spoke. "What does it look like?" I snapped. "Ev—or should I say _Shadow_— flipped sides and is now following in Megatron's footsteps."

Ratchet stepped towards me. "Arcee," he said quietly. "Loosen your grip on your wound. You'll damage the patch I made on your energon line." With a scowl, I comply. "You can't be angry with her… She's just…."

"Just what, Ratchet?" I yell. "Just upset? Upset doesn't drive you to turn traitor to your team, your _family_. Upset doesn't drive you to hit your friends' pain points _with a dagger_. That girl, that femme, is downright vengeful, and she doesn't give a frag about us!"

**"Arcee—"** Bee began, but I didn't let him finish.

"We have been _suffering_ since her 'death,' and she has been off playing soldier with the Decepticons! Now, she shows up out of nowhere and frags with our heads!"

"She doesn't remember us." My helm whips to Wheeljack. "She can't remember who we are. It's not her fault…"

My gaze turns to the ground, and I snap, "Being a Decepticon is a choice—"

"Not when all you know is a lie." Oh frag.

"Jack!" I yell. "What are you doing here? You should be at base—"

He gestures back to a rock, where an unusually quiet and sullen Miko Nakadi sat upon said rock. The past few weeks had been just as hard, if not worse, for the children, and from the looks on their faces, their fresh wounds had just been torn right open again.

I start to speak, but Jack cuts me off, his voice showing tones of trying to be strong, but occasionally breaking as expected from a brother both pained and confused over what has happened to his sister. "She needs our help, now more than ever. I know your hurt, we all are… but she needs us whether she knows it or not."

I turn my gaze away from my partner as my memories drift back to the night that everything changed. Primus, I wished we had tried harder to get them to leave when we played those tapes… Then maybe they wouldn't have been so torn up over what had happened to Everon.

After her near meltdown, we had all agreed to give her time and space, to let her calm herself. That didn't stop us from worrying, all of us tensely congregated in the main silo of the base, either pacing or anxiously shifting as we waited for her return or call or _something_.

But nothing ever came.

Thirty minutes turned to an hour, an hour to two, soon Wheeljack began to get restless, panicking over her fear. Eventually, the fear subsided to nothing as he explained that he couldn't sense her anymore. Then, all we could do is wait. We were full on panicking at that point, not knowing where she was or how to help her. Eventually, we reached the twelve-hour mark of Everon receiving the monitoring necklace from Wheeljack. All agreeing that this had gone on for too long and equally worried, we let Wheeljack pull up the footage that the device had recorded.

The 3D scans from the pulses given off by the device played out before us on the silo floor, the children sleeping off their exhaustion over on the couch platform. Wheeljack linked the video sounds to our comm channel to keep them from hearing, and we settled into playing through the twelve-hour recording.

Skipping through any nonessential parts, we watched Everon from the time she left to her meeting up with Damien. We watched as they talked, as she vented, as he did the best to calm her. I remember laughing lightly as the others got upset over her tattoo. But then, our sparks practically stopped.

How could we have been so stupid? I knew from the start that her involvement with MECH would only end badly. I should have fought harder to keep her off this assignment despite how adamant she was for it. I swore to Cliffjumper… I swore to my partner, my brother that I would protect her with all of my spark should something happen to him.

And I failed him. I failed him horribly.

As if to add more pain to our sparks from seeing them drag her away, when seeking help, she didn't call us. She called _them_. It took all my willpower not to storm from the room at that point. Deep in my spark, I knew that the Decepticons were better equipped to track her open cell phone line: they had Soundwave, better tech, but… it still hurt us all.

But even that wasn't enough. We watched as Silas baited Everon and Damien, questioned them. We watched as Silas took her shard as a 'trophy.' We watched as they moved their focus to Damien. And we watched as they tortured him right in front of her.

The pain in her eyes… We knew they could do anything to her and never hurt her as much as watching her friend suffer that way. Eventually, they realized that this avenue was going nowhere. So, Silas simply drew a gun and shot him point blank in the chest.

If watching Damien die had been bad enough, Silas finally moved on to our girl. She held strong, she never gave in, never told him anything about us. At times when she did speak, she managed to unnerve even Silas himself.

By this point, I was even praying to Primus for the Decepticons to find her. Her being with the Cons… the idea may sicken me, but at least they cared for her. At least they would protect her, as well as not have any constraints over slaughtering these vile humans.

But they came too late.

As the final blast of the gun filled our audio receptors, I heard a scream from the platform behind us. I turned with dread in my spark to see Miko hysterically crying into Jack's chest, Raf standing by my partner's side with tears dripping down his face. Jack merely stared at the projection of Everon's body with a hollow and blank stare as he numbly held the weeping Miko.

None of us could really function after that. We found the base where the torture took place, but the building didn't last long. As soon we found the spot stained in her unique purple blood, her body gone and the recording necklace discarded on the ground in the blood, the mechs in our group just… exploded. Even Optimus. The building was soon demolished to nothing but rumble.

Only Ratchet and I were the ones to not join in on the rage filled destruction. Ratchet was simply… despondent. He just stood there, not speaking, not responding, simply there. His stance was slumped and defeated, his optics pained. I, on the other hand, stood resolute and tall, optics hardened, as I cradled the limp and broken form Everon's human partner.

We buried the young man alongside Cliffjumper.

Now, here we are, still broken, but more confused than before. I sigh as I look to Jack, and with a tired look, I say, "I know. I know she needs our help. I just don't think she is going to accept it… For all we know, her mind could already be too far gone."

As Bulkhead reached for the sad little Asian girl, Miko's head snapped to me, anger flaring in her eyes. "What's _that_ supposed to mean?"

"Miko—" Bulkhead starts, but she cuts him off.

"Everon is _alive_, we have a chance to get her back, and you're acting like she is already a lost cause!" Miko screams at me. "How can you give up on her?!"

Scowling, I respond, "I'm not giving—"

"Your partner would have bent over backwards to save her!" I can't help but visibly flinch at her harsh words.

"Miko!" Optimus yells. "That is not acceptable. And as to what Arcee is referring to, I fear she might have some validity to her statement."

**"Okay, now **_**I'm **_**confused…"**

* * *

We save the discussion for when we are back at base. Taking a breath, I continue. "Shadow is an Aurilian."

Recognition flashes in most of their optics, but the humans and Bee looked even more confused then before. Raf asks hesitantly, "But… I thought she was a Cybertronian. Does this have something to do with her wings?"

Optimus decided to explain for me. "An Aurilian is a species of Cybertronian, one that has mostly died out. The only way to tell if someone is of Aurilian heritage is if they have extra appendages, such as Everon's wings or—"

Jack's eyes widened as he said, "Airachnid's legs." He looks to me, and I can't meet his gaze.

With a nod, Optimus continues. "Yes, and the appendages are only found on the femmes of the blood line. Mechs can be carriers of the blood line, but since mech births are more common, and most sparks come from the Well, it is near impossible to keep track of who is a carrier of the trait."

"At least in this case we are sure of the gene carrier." Ratchet steps forward and speaks freely for the first time since Everon's death. "Megatron's demeanor follows the characteristics normally seen among Aurilians. Short tempered, strong rages, yet draws followers with ease, many qualities we have seen in Everon in the past."

"Ugh!" Miko screams from where she had curled on Bulkhead's shoulder. "Why do you all keep trashing Everon! She isn't like that!"

"Miko," Bulkhead says gingerly. "Aurilians were known for… well—"

"Insanity." All gazes turn to me, varying from sad, knowing looks to shock and confusion. "Aurilians were prone to falling prey to insanity. She's always shown signs, but we've never wanted to see it. Her mood swings, her personality shifts may have been strengthened from her spark pains, but now I see it was only a matter of time."

"Don't say that!"

"Miko—"

"You hate Airachnid!" She screams. "Just because Airachnid is crazy, doesn't mean Everon is going to be the same! She just… she can't be going crazy… she can't… we just got her back…"

As tears threaten to spill down the young girl's face, Ratchet continues. "We don't really know much about the subspecies. They tended not to trust regular Cybertronians. The only real conclusion we could come to was that they were a sort of evolutionary link between us and ancient Predacons."

"Preda-what?" she asks between sniffs.

"Similar to human dinosaurs," Bulkhead offered.

"Dinobots?! You guys have Dinobots?! Why was I never told about this?!" She always did perk up easily…

Ratchet sighs. "Predacons are extinct, and do _not_ get me started on the Dinobots." He then gives Wheeljack a pointed look.

"Hey!" Wheeljack says in a defensive tone. "Don't drag _that_ back out into the open."

I turn to him and speak tersely. "You've been pretty quiet during all this. I thought you would have more input on the subject."

With a sigh, he says, "Look, just a few hours ago, I thought she was dead. The girl I loved was _dead_. Now, she's alive, living and breathing and walking around so quite honestly, I couldn't give a frag whether she is a Decepticon or an Aurilian or anything. She is _alive_. That's enough for me."

I look at the mech before me, and I can't help but think back to his behavior for the past few weeks. After the incident of tearing down the MECH base with the others, he sped off, not even coming back to base with us. We didn't see or hear from him for three days until he simply pulled back into the base, low on energon and unusually quiet, even for him.

The two of us just stared for a minute. One saw hope, a new light. Wanted nothing more then for things to the way they were before. The other saw the harsh reality, one no one wanted. Things will never be the same, no matter how hard anyone tries.

It shouldn't be that hard to see who was on which side.

I give a heavy sigh as I look to the ground. "I loved her too. I want nothing more then to have her back." Moving to leave the main silo, I add without looking back, "But I'm not getting my hopes up. I just don't think I could take it if I failed Cliff again." Before anyone else could respond, I'm already out and heading to the roof.

* * *

"Hey Cliff," I say solemnly as I stand awkwardly in front of the stone pillar. "I haven't come to see you in the past few weeks… I guess I've just been too ashamed."

I turn to face the vast expanse of desert before me. It was so quiet, so serene. How could everything seem so perfect when nothing is right? "I failed you. When you made me promise to watch her should something happen to you, I didn't take it seriously. I never really let myself get close to her because I always expected us to outlive her. Then you died."

I flexed my hands into fists. "Primus, she couldn't take it. I couldn't take it. You didn't deserve it. You didn't deserve to die…" Releasing my flexed fists, I sigh and say, "But neither did Ev. That is, if she really _did_ die…"

Crouching in front of the grave marker, I continue. "Wonder if you know what's going on. Even if you didn't, you would probably still be talking up a storm, trying to distract us all from the dark cloud that's been hanging over our helms…"

"You know, I used to wonder why people would talk to the dead." My gaze snaps to Wheeljack who had somehow snuck up behind me. "Thought people were crazy for doing it. But since Ev died…" He then met my gaze with a pained look in his optics. "It's the only thing that's kept me sane."

Looking away, I tell him, "The difference is your ghost isn't dead, now is she? Mine is still dust…"

I can hear him begin to speak, but we were both alerted by Ratchet over the comm. _"Arcee, you need to get to the main silo, _now_."_

Confused, I ask as Wheeljack and I start heading for the lift, "Why, what's wrong?"

_"We have an encrypted Decepticon comm coming through. Whoever it is, They are requesting to speak to you."_

By this time, the lift had almost fully lowered itself, and I merely announce to Ratchet, "Why in the frag would we accept a Decepticon call? And why me?"

"It could be Ev," Jack says from the human platform off to the side.

Then, Miko chimes in, "And you were the one to shoot her Vehicon friend. Maybe she wants to threaten you!"

"Great…" I mumble.

Optimus then decides to speak up. "Given the recent situation, I do not believe we can afford not to answer. This call may provide us you an explanation as to what is going on."

"Fine!" I snap, walking up to the monitor. "But I don't have a good feeling about this." Then, I angrily jab the accept comm button, and as a familiar face appears on the screen, I can't help but scream, "What did I tell you!"

"Oh, Arcee. Is that anyway to greet an old friend?"

Eyes narrowed, I venomously spit out, "You are no friend, _Airachnid_."

"Hmm, well then," the Aurilian Con sarcastically huffs. "Is that anyway to treat the femme who brought back your precious Everon?"

"Wait what?" Jack announces from the side, and I can't help but glare at him to be silent.

"Oh! Is that Jack?" Airachnid asks excitedly. "And how is my favorite human doing? Is miss perfect here taking good care of you, or would you prefer a femme who is more fun?"

"Don't you dare talk to him, witch!" I snarl.

Her optics narrow as she glares at me. "Hmph. Leave you to be the one to judge a femme on her race. Is that why you took a cheap shot at the little Princess?"

"Why you-"

"As for me being a _witch_," she continues. "I am the witch who not only brought back Everon, but I'm also about to help you again."

"How did you bring her back?" Ratchet questioned.

Rolling her optics, she responded, "Really now, someone as old as you _must_ have heard the rumors about my kind. Well, I'm here to say that those _rumors_ are true. And because of your brat being so stubborn, I have a task I must complete or else I die from breaking a spark promise."

"Now that wouldn't be such a bad thing," I say with a smirk.

Her smirk is more feral then mine could ever be. "Well, then I guess you don't want me to revive Cliffjumper."

* * *

**And, end scene! Yes, a very short chapter, but one- I barely had time to finish this, and 2- the next two chapters are going to be very long.**

**Also! Seeing as how I didn't get to stockpile chapters, these are going to be written in my free time over the semester. So, if I don't post on a Friday or Saturday, it means life is kicking me in the aft and I haven't gotten to finish your chapter.**

**I apologize in advance.**

**But check back the next week because there should be another chapter posted the following week. Anyway, as always, please review! Thoughts, opinions, any concerns are welcome!**


	9. Missing Pieces

**_Author's Notes:_**

**Alright, this is a bit of a longer chapter, one that I had trouble with. Hope you enjoy!**

**Also, please read/listen to the opening song! I matched it to this chapter cause while on the outside, it's a fun, upbeat song, but the lyrics match the underlying themes of the chapter… at least, they do to me.**

**(Also, I just freaking love this song.)**

* * *

_Show me how to lie  
__You're getting better all the time  
__And turning all against the one  
__Is an art that's hard to teach  
__Another clever word  
__Sets off an unsuspecting herd  
__And as you step back into line  
__A mob jumps to their feet_

_Now dance, fucker, dance  
__Man, he never had a chance  
__And no one even knew  
__It was really only you_

_And now you steal away  
__Take him out today  
__Nice work you did  
__You're gonna go far, kid_

_With a thousand lies  
__And a good disguise  
__Hit 'em right between the eyes  
__Hit 'em right between the eyes  
__When you walk away  
__Nothing more to say  
__See the lightning in your eyes  
__See 'em running for their lives_

_Slowly out of line  
__And drifting closer in your sights  
__So play it out I'm wide awake  
__It's a scene about me  
__There's something in your way  
__And now someone is gonna pay  
__And if you can't get what you want  
__Well it's all because of me_

_Now dance, fucker, dance  
__Man, I never had a chance  
__And no one even knew  
__It was really only you_

_And now you'll lead the way  
__Show the light of day  
__Nice work you did  
__You're gonna go far, kid  
__Trust, deceived!_

_With a thousand lies  
__And a good disguise  
__Hit 'em right between the eyes  
__Hit 'em right between the eyes  
__When you walk away  
__Nothing more to say  
__See the lightning in your eyes  
__See 'em running for their lives_

_Now dance, fucker, dance  
__He never had a chance  
__And no one even knew  
__It was really only you_

_So dance, fucker, dance  
__I never had a chance  
__It was really only you_

_With a thousand lies  
__And a good disguise  
__Hit 'em right between the eyes  
__Hit 'em right between the eyes  
__When you walk away  
__Nothing more to say  
__See the lightning in your eyes  
__See 'em running for their lives_

_Clever alibis  
__Lord of the flies  
__Hit 'em right between the eyes  
__Hit 'em right between the eyes  
__When you walk away  
__Nothing more to say  
__See the lightning in your eyes  
__See 'em running for their lives_

_"You're Gonna Go Far Kid" by the Offspring_

* * *

When I woke, the only thing I was aware of was the immense discomfort in my lower chassis. I looked down to see my newly rebuilt torso, seeing what could be seen as a complete and unharmed form, but I knew better. Between my extensive medical training and my keen optic for my appearance, I could tell.

Jumping up, which probably wasn't a good idea with the stiffness in my lower chassis, I rush over to the side of a nearby medical cabinet. The side held a familiar and well loved tool of mine: a full body length mirror, one I used to keep myself in pristine condition. Unfortunately, I was not met with my normal, pristine self. Instead, I see my ruined paintjob, scratches found all along my form while my lower chassis looked like it was still in the final stages of being reconstructed, the metal still warped and looking anything but appealing.

Seeing it, I nearly glitched.

"Why those fragging Autobots! My finish is _ruined_!"

Just as I yell, sitting up to glare at my damaged lower chassis, I hear glass break on the floor and look just in time to see Breakdown come barreling into the room. "Primus, you're finally awake!"

With a roll of my optics, I snap, "Yes, and I wake up to this slag heap that was once my pristine paintjob!" I angle my body into the mirror, examining the extent of the damage. "When I get my hands on that yellow bug I'll—"

Before I can finish, I'm met with a fist hitting my face. Stunned, I just sit there, staring at a pissed off Breakdown as I hold my now scraped up cheek. "What… What the name of Unicron is wrong with you?!" I yell at my partner. "Are you fragging defective?!"

"Three. Days." Those were the only words he ground out to me before he swung at me again, me managing to dodge this time with a yelp. "Three days since you were shot. Three days since you went in critical. Three days of us _worrying_ about you, and low and behold, you wake up worrying about your slagging _paintjob_!"

He lunged for me, and I dodged away from him, being lighter on my feet. "I'm fine now! And of course I'm freaked out over my paintjob; I mean, look at this atrocity—"

"You haven't even _asked_ about her, you self-righteous little—"

"Shadow?..." I ask cautiously. "She wasn't hurt, was she? I _told_ Starscream not to let her fight! I will dismantle that high-heeled fragger and melt him down for spare parts!"

Breakdown snorts, crossing his arms and glaring at me. "She wasn't hurt. Not physically anyway."

My optic ridges scrunch together. "What do you… Oh no. She's a soft-sparked medic, isn't she? Frag it to the Pits… I _knew_ this would happen." I scrub my servos over my face before continuing. "How many died?"

"Overall, six of the Vehicons," Breakdown replied with a shrug. "Five were on sight hits, dead before they hit the ground. Nothing she could do, and she knew it. Out of the fifty present, she patched thirty seven, eleven of which were able to rejoin the battle before returning with us."

I looked puzzled. "That's… those are amazing odds. Why is she—"

"That one death… the one that she had die after her working on him…" He looked to the side, away from me. "It was that Vehicon she befriended. Her squadron leader, Rowback."

I sigh, completely unaffected from the death of a simple soldier. "She's just going to have to learn not to get close to the Vehicons. They die too easily." Turning to glance at my paint once more and grimace, I snap, "Honestly, it's ridiculous. It's just a Vehicon. I don't understand why she feels the need to be _nice _to them, let alone be friendly with them."

Breakdown practically growled at me. "Look in that mirror again, and I'll break it."

With my own glare, I yell, "Seriously, what is the problem?! It's just a Vehicon. It shouldn't be such a fragging issue—"

"This is _Shadow_ we're talking about, Knockout! You _know_ how soft-sparked she is about everything! It's why we're having to fragging _lie_ to her about her past in order to make our little sister want to even consider living with us, let alone actually joining the Cons! Do you honestly think she will ever take declaring someone unsalvageable as an easy choice for her?! She could hate the person and still feel like she was ripping out her own spark!"

"Unsalvageable?" I ask in surprise. "You mean… she actually—"

"Pulled his spark line?" He barked out a semblance of a laugh. "Yeah, she actually did. There was nothing she could have done, and with you being shot almost immediately afterwards…"

I glare at the floor, clenching my servos a few times. "I take it she hasn't talked to anyone about it yet, has she?"

"Like she has time. Between running around and repurposing the way the Nemesis is handled, plus rebuilding _your_ chassis, I don't even think she has recharged." He snorts. "She outranks me now, as I'm _constantly_ reminded of, and keeps stocking up on emergency energy packs. She should have recharged immediately after her return from the fight, but she's being… well, she's acting like you. Stubborn."

I ignore the jibe. "Where can I find her?" I ask in a neutral tone.

Quirking an optic ridge, he responds, "The bridge… but she probably won't respond. Not since she self installed that slagging half visor."

"She. Did. What?" The anger that had been building was slowly getting worse.

"She took it upon herself to self-equip herself with weapons." I storm to the computer, about to pull up the plans, when suddenly, he says, "Don't bother: she already used your files on her weapons upgrades you were working up. And yeah, she installed those too."

Growling, I turn to storm out of the med lab. "Whoa," Breakdown says, blocking my path. "I have orders to keep you here should you wake up. She outranks us now that she took over."

Scoffing, I shake my helm and snap, "And what else did I miss? Us making peace with the Autobots and singing in a meadow while Arcee and Airachnid pick flowers?!"

"No…" my partner said cautiously. "But, you _did_ miss Starscream being dragged to the brig…"

"I don't even want to know. Just let. Me. By!"

"Knockout—"

"I'm the Primus forsaken head medic of this ship, which means, in the matters of the crew's health, both physical _and_ mental, I outrank everyone! Including Shadow, even if she is fragging in charge now! So, _move_!" Shoving my way past a confused Breakdown, I storm to the hall, intent on giving this femme a piece of my mind, whether she listens willingly or I have to strap her down to a medical berth to listen.

Before getting too far, I yell back to Breakdown, "And make sure my buff and paint kit is out and ready before I get back!"

* * *

Reaching the bridge, I'm actually momentarily shocked by the flurry of movement as everyone runs past me, each apparently with some job or duty they needed to attend to. I have no idea why it's so busy here: we haven't been like this since the crew for the Nemesis was originally formed, back when Megatron set up the original order for the ship.

Entering the actual main bridge though, I begin to understand why. Staring ahead, I see the back of the femme I was searching for, standing there, barking out orders in a stern tone, yet at the same time, it wasn't a tone that would make one begrudging to follow.

She strode to one side of the main platform, still angled away from me. Addressing a random Vehicon, she says, "How are quadrants 5.623-D and 7.201-S looking?"

"Running at proper levels now, Lady Tronus," the Vehicon responds calmly, and I double take at the title. Breakdown wasn't kidding about her taking command in place of Starscream.

She sighs at the title but responds by turning on her heeled pede and strides towards the other side, her wings trailing just above the ground. "What about the crew manifest? How are the updates and ship maintenance going?"

Another Vehicon nodded to her. "We have almost finished correcting the ship logs. We can send it to you on your screen visor in a few minutes. As for the maintenance… it might be another day or two for the maintenance crew to catch up with all the orders that Starscream put off. They are waiting for all the orders to process in the system."

Shaking her helm, she states, "I trust their judgment over how to maintain the ship better than my own. If their crew leader approves it, tell them to go ahead and finish the necessary precautionary maintenance. We need to finish with the ship as quickly as possible so we can check on the mines. I don't want to risk another one of these cave-ins that that aft-head was ignoring."

"Yes, Lady Tronus," the Vehicon replied, a hint of a gracious tone.

She nodded, before declaring to Soundwave who was intently typing away at his station, "I'm going to the med lab, I'll be back…" She had turned around and begun to walk towards the exit when she saw me, standing with my arms crossed over my chassis as I stared at her. "What are you doing up? You should be resting! Breakdown was supposed to—"

"I outrank Breakdown, and as far as your order, though I am relieved you finally took over from Screamer, I still outrank you." Stepping forward, I regard the small changes in her appearance. I'm met by a stiffer stance, one that was less loose and carefree like the femme I had known just a short few days ago. Her frame had a few scratches on it, ones that would buff out easily, but not all of them were from battle. I could see the tell tale signs of her messing with the shifting edges of her armor along her arms, obviously from her self-installing her weapons.

Then there was her face. Instead of being met by her large, innocent silver optics and expressive face, I'm met by the blankness of a half visor screen covering her optics, one that is met by a mouth guard covering the lower half of her face. Though my stance is casual and a smirk plays across my face, I knew my optics were anything but calm. "I'm out for just a few days, and you've gone and done most anything you can to risk your well-being just short of throwing yourself off the side of the ship."

A low growl emanates from her throat as her wings bristle. I know I'm pushing my luck, but I can't seem to care. "If you're done berating me, Knockout, I have a ship to run." She spins on her heel to face away from me, but I'm having none of it.

Feet stomping along the ground, I approach her, servos clenched at my sides. "Oh no: You are _not_ going to pull this with me. We are going to talk right—"

As soon as my servo grasped her shoulder, she spun, pinning my arm around my back. To make matters worse, another low growling joins hers, and my optic ridges scrunch together, trying to figure out where the sound was coming from. "Not. Now. Go get some rest and let yourself heal. For Primus sake," she utters as she drops my arm and lets me stumble forward. "You were just shot through the chassis a few days ago."

Turning to glare at her, forgetting completely about the growling, I snap, "Yes, and you haven't recharged in days! You should have recharged immediately after your return from the battle." The growling returns, but I ignore it. "And don't tell me you are fine! Breakdown told me about that Vehicon. I warned you about growing attached to him."

If she had been stiff and tense before, she was even more so now, her wings bristling to the sides, her growling growing louder before she crouched low, shifting like she was prepared to lunge at me. I simply stood there, waiting for her to lash out as she raised her visor to glare her angered optics at me.

And lash out she did. She lunged, arms and wings spread in an obvious sign of her meaning to tackle me to the ground, but with a well timed side step, I bend back as one of her wings went over my helm, and I took a cheap shot by grabbing the base of her wing, talons digging in, but not deep enough to break any energon veins.

She growled in frustration, but I had already shifted behind her, still grasping her one wing tightly, and I dug my other set of talons into the gaps of her side armor while pinning down her arm and other wing with that arm. The moves were more irritating then painful for her, but if she struggled, well, then the pain would be her own fault.

Pulling her tightly against my chassis, I ferally say, a bit of smugness in my tone, "I may not be much of a fighter, but unlike you, I'm not the least bit reserved in taking a cheap shot. So, little sister, I don't want to hurt you, but we are going to talk, whether you come willingly or I have to drag you by your wings, understand? My paint is already ruined, so I have no reserves on dragging you away kicking and screaming."

She growled in my grip, but the growl died down to a low grumble in her throat before she gave a sharp nod. "Fine," she snaps. "Now, let go!" I release her, and she stumbles forward a bit before standing tall and turning to glare at me.

That's when the growling returns, and I find myself being tackled by something off to the side. With a cry of surprise, I fall on my aft only to be pushed flat on my back by a familiar symbiot.

"Soundwave! Call him off!" The mech in question merely glances at me before playing a recording of Shadow's voice. _"If you're sure, then of course I will take him. I would love to have a symbiot. I will take good care of him!"_ I felt like glitching right then, staring up at the growling symbiot on my chassis before looking off at Soundwave with a look that suggested he was crazy. "You gave her a symbiot?! Frag that, you gave her _Ravage_?!"

Said symbiot growled at me, leaning his sharp fanged mouth closer to my face. Shadow rolled her optics before saying, "C'mon, Ravage, before he spazzes out over the claw marks."

With one last growl, he crawls off and goes to rub against her legs, a grumbling purr coming from his vocal processors. I eye the catlike symbiot with a cautious gaze. "You brought him out of stasis…"

Shadow grumbles, "_Someone_ thought I needed a guard and thought I might be more willing to let this one follow me around." Though her tone was begrudging, she did crouch down to scratch the cat behind his audio receptors, eliciting a louder purr. "I like him, and he seems to like me…"

With a sigh, I mutter about Soundwave. "Stupid, smart mech…" Then, after shaking my helm, I say in a more serious tone, "If your… pet is done attacking me—"

She glares at me and snaps, "Not a pet!" while Ravage growls in agreement.

"—I need to talk to you. Now. So move your aft!"

Without breaking her harsh glare, she snaps, "Soundwave, your in charge. I will be back later."

"You will be back once we're done talking, and you're done recharging."

"I don't have time—"

"You are recharging, or by Primus, I will induce stasis!"

Her optics narrow. "You wouldn't dare—"

I interrupt her with a dark laugh. "Oh, try me." My glare returns, and my optics narrow to match hers, as well as my stance and crossing my arms over my chassis. After a few moments with an intense stare down, no sound but the quiet typing away of Soundwave at his station and the low growling of Ravage, I announce, "Now, go! Med lab, now!"

I knew she felt like arguing, but she ground her teeth and stormed off, wings flexing angrily against her back as Ravage followed closely behind, hovering towards her side. Not long after we were out in the hall, I add, "And take off that battle mask. It's fragging ridiculous."

Stopping to turn her gaze dangerously to me, I don't even flinch at her antics. Withdrawing the mask finally to reveal the rest of her face, she yells, "What is your problem?!"

I sigh and respond, "You are exhausting yourself. It's not healthy to push yourself this much."

"I'm fine—"

"No you're not!" I yell, throwing my arms in the air. "You are running yourself ragged, and you are going to hurt yourself. If you want to lead this crew, you may be better suited then Starscream, but you are no help if you frag up your health in the process. You're so tired that you look like you just fought you're way out of the Pits!"

Her gaze turned away, arms crossing over her chassis. "Starscream was shirking his responsibilities. Everything he was supposed to be monitoring for the well being of the crew and this ship, he put off. I'm surprised that the ship hadn't crashed yet! And did you know that he was hiding mine cave-ins? So many of our crew was getting injured and dying because of him—"

"Yes, I knew. I'm the medic." With a sigh, I continue by saying, "It's my job to deal with the injured and dead, remember? And it's just some Vehicons—" That's when I was hit across the face, Ravage making a sound of approval sitting happily next to her, tail twitching. Standing stunned for a minute, I snap, "What the frag is with everyone and hitting me today?!"

"It's because you're being an aft!" she snapped back. "Those are living, breathing Cybertronians. Whether you admit it or not, you fight and work beside them everyday, and they risk their lives for our cause! Show them some respect!"

Shaking my helm, I mutter, "Whatever. Look, there was nothing I could have done if I had wanted to. He outranked me, and I had my plate full trying to keep him away from your father, let alone worry about some Vehicons! Then, you go and join his slagging Armada. Do you have any idea how much I worried about you?! I knew the minute he put you in the field, he would do his best to get you killed. You have always been a threat to him, and you always will be, _Lady Tronus_."

Her gaze softened and turned sad. "I didn't mean… I didn't think he would abandon us there in the field. I had hoped…" She sighed, shoulders slumping. "And trying to get them to stop using that title is harder then trying to get them to stop calling me Princess."

I smirk at her, a kinder one then before. "Well, both titles suit you." She gives me a light glare, but it doesn't quite reach her optics. Sensing that she is now giving in to her exhaustion, I carefully wrap an arm around her shoulder. "Everything will be fine, little sister. Now, come on. You can recharge in the med lab while Breakdown helps me fix this…" I look down at my form and grimace. "…mess."

She laughs lightly as we move down the hall at a slow pace, each of us finally giving in to leaning against each other for support. Ravage followed, grumbling slightly over me being so close to his new mistress.

* * *

"Stupid fragging Autobot…"

"Yes, Knockout. I heard you the first hundred times."

"Oh shut up, Breakdown. My poor paint…."

"I will punch you again."

"…Shutting up now."

He nods in approval of my choice and goes back to helping buff out the final scratches on my back. The touch ups were done, and my paint, though not yet quite to its former glory, was satisfactory.

My gaze traveled back over to the recharging form of Shadow, curled up slightly on her side while slightly on her chest, one wing tucked up against her back while the other draped loosely over her prone and still form like a human blanket. Ravage had curled along her chassis, snuggled under her wing and recharging along with her.

The femme and the symbiot were almost to the three hour mark, a little much for the average Cybertronian recharge, but I wanted to make sure that her systems had readjusted to her lack of rest.

"Nice claw marks, by the way."

Growling, I snap, my gaze not leaving the recharging femme, "You could have warned me about the Pit cat."

"Now where's the fun in that?" Breakdown asks while grinning.

"Go frag yourself," I grumble. "Next time, you get to deal with Unicron's lap cat."

He laughed before shifting the subject. "A bit unconventional how you 'talked' to her," Breakdown stated, interrupting my staring. "But still, thanks. She wasn't going to listen to me, not with you injured." I nod, and glance back over to her. "Did she talk about that Vehicon?"

"No," I stated simply. "I pushed her a lot already. The rest we should take one step at a time." Sighing, I add, "Stupid Vehicons. Should have never let her near them."

Breakdown smirked at me. "You love her for it just the same."

I don't respond, knowing that I could never acknowledge something like that, but denying it to anyone would be an obvious lie. So, I just remain silent, staring at her recharging frame while Breakdown smirks and puts away the buffer. Breaking the silence, I say, "Maybe we should wake her—"

Apparently, waking her was unnecessary, because before I could continue my thought, she pushed up on the medical berth, gasping loudly as if she were trying to hyperventilate even though she didn't need air. Ravage jumped up, having been linked to her mind when Soundwave created a symbiotic link between the two. He made worried yowling sounds, curling and pawing at her trying to find out what was wrong.

Rushing to her, I grasp her faceplates between my servos, Ravage moving just to the side, while Breakdown hurriedly sits next to her on the berth, wrapping his large arms around her wings and torso, holding the wings down before they tried to beat in the small confines of the lab.

I wish I could say that this was something new, but honestly, this wasn't the first time she had woken like this.

Making calming shushes and reassurances, I absently stroked her face till she stopped trying to hyperventilate and her servos reached up to grasp mine while she shifted back to sit in Breakdown's grasp. Optics still tightly shut, she muttered, "I'm sorry…"

I make a sound of slight annoyance. "For what? It's not your fault your mind is still trying to revert back to its human state. Memories and dreams aren't natural for Cybertronians." With a sigh, I say, "I'm guessing from how you woke up, it's not a very pleasant memory trying to break through."

Her optics finally blinked open, the pools of unique silver looking up to meet my gaze. "Another with MECH." I felt like growling in displeasure, but she beat me to it. "How could they do that?"

"Humans can be so primitive—"

"Not them," she muttered. "How could the Autobots let me go through that? How could they just abandon me? Did I really mean so little to them…" I start to speak, but she cuts me off. "I don't need them. They weren't worth my first life, so I won't waste this one on them. You all are my real family, not those lying Pit scum…"

My spark twinges a bit, thinking about what she might feel if she were to know the truth. If she were to know that the Autobots weren't the ones lying to her. Pushing back the thought, I focus on the now. "Are you stable enough for Breakdown to let go of you?"

Hesitantly, she nods, and he slowly lets go, hovering in case her wings went wild like they have done before after her recharges. They flex and twitch at first, but they eventually settle casually against her back while she shifts to sit on her knees upon the berth. Ravage immediately took this as a cue to push and paw close to her chassis, the large cat nearly being at optic level to her while she kneeled. After stroking the worried symbiot a bit to calm him, she looks to a far wall and mutters another sorry.

"How many times do we have to tell you, Little Bit?" Breakdown says with a laugh and a warm smile. "We're your big bros: helping you is what we're here for. No need to apologize when you need help."

She doesn't meet his optics, but she does smile a bit. "Thanks." Shifting slowly so her legs hung over the edge of the berth, she slowly stood as Breakdown and I hovered about her, afraid she might fall. Ravage jumps down beside her and stretches, arching his haunches into the air while his front paws claw at the ground. Slowly stretching her arms up and her wings out, careful of her surroundings, Shadow says, "I'm fine: just stiff. No need to hover."

I scoff. "Considering how poorly your mind is adjusting, I think hovering is perfectly justifiable. Now, don't move. I want another scan."

She groaned loudly while Breakdown held back snickers. "Do you know often you fragging scan me?"

"Forgive me for—"

"Worrying?" she finishes for me, a slight smile on her face. With a light laugh, she says, "Love you too, Knockout."

I grumble and turn away, but a smile plays on my faceplates. Breakdown, though, frowns. "What about me?"

She laughs again before jumping up to lock her arms around his neck. "I love my big bro too!"

He grins and hugs her tightly. "Love ya, Little Bit." Ravage grumbles at her feet, and with a laugh, Breakdown says, "Apparently your symbiot wants in on the love."

She immediately stoops to embrace the large Cybertronian feline who growls out a purr while rubbing the side of his helm against hers. Clearing my throat, I ask, "If everyone is done with the proclamations of love, can I please scan you?"

A loud groan comes from her, but she complies. The scan was the same as usual, no real signs of what was triggering the occasional memory during her recharge, a time when her processor shouldn't be seeing anything. The only issue I could find was her wings, disheveled from the past few days of neglect.

"You haven't been preening your feathers," I state in a bit of an irritated tone. She just looks at me innocently, and I sigh. "Turn around, stupid femme. I'll preen it for you. It will be quicker." By the time I had said this, I had turned her around and was already had my fingers running through her protoform feathers, the loose ones coming out easily between my servos.

She just stood there, completely trusting of me. Absently, I think of how easily I can get her to trust me. I could tell her to free fall off the ship with her wings bound, and she would trust me to catch her. She would always trust my word, no matter what I said. It had been this way since day one, since I told her that the Autobots had allowed her to go on a mission knowing that her cover had been compromised.

That they had wanted her to die.

With expertly worded deception, a great skill of mine, I had her convinced near immediately. She didn't even want to hear the Autobots' side of the story. The look in her optics showed that she trusted my word completely, and her innocence that had been cracking over the years showed its head with a renewed vigor. Gone was the human girl who had slowly been drifting into herself alongside the Autobots. This was the little girl Megatron had found out in the field all those Earth years ago.

This was our true Shadow Tronus. She was ours. And with the way we had her, mixing truth with our lies, she would always be ours. Ours until the day that one of us physically told her the truth, a truth that we swore to never tell again.

Hesitating, my optics locked onto the gothic spider design on her back. The symmetrical design fit perfectly between her wings, right where Airachnid had drawn it when Shadow's human body was in the final stages of healing, while her mind was still in limbo.

Her memories… She doesn't remember her childhood. She doesn't remember her time with us. The hours of her sitting upon my shoulder, talking to me, asking questions, her innocent curiosity blinding me to the little girl who missed her Autobot family. Now, that little girl, the one that belonged with the Autobots is gone. This one may be missing pieces, but nothing is perfect.

I run my servos through her wings again, the hesitation being too slight for her to notice. I'm perfect. On the outside, that is. I keep the details of my frame pristine, and I make sure that I'm always flawless. It's a balance. Because when I'm ugly on the outside…

I don't like it to match how ugly I can be on the inside. And I don't want others to notice the mech who is missing pieces, pieces that this innocent femme carries. She is compassionate. She is caring. She loves selflessly and trusts easily. She lives to make others happy.

And she fills all our missing pieces.

* * *

**Okay, I have no idea why it was so hard for me to write the beginning of this chapter. Thank Primus for Graceful-Kuja's help, or else this chapter wouldn't have been posted this week.**

**Also, I'm looking forward to the next two weeks' chapters, so there should be no issues. Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed it! Please review!**


End file.
